Self esteem activities

A  young man with a deep sense of self and high ego but with deep fear of living came to my office . He looked smart and  confident until he spoke.

I stood there in front of him trying to understand him with his fluctuating feelings. With in few minutes we were on our way to figure out his issues and we devised self esteem activities that he should follow the next few  days to become confident.

Here are the 6 self esteem activities that you also can use in your life.

1-Figuring out what makes the fear.

Our fears are products of our minds. These are very different from one person to another. A fear of talking to others is very jock for some and a huge problem for others. You should be able to know what makes you tick and what takes away your pride and confidence. Write them down on a paper and even write a short note on what takes your self esteem away and when.

self esteem activities: Spend time learning about your issue. If you have a problem of expressing yourself, study how to express yourself. Or join a drama club. If you have fear of crowed, why not practice doing that?

2-Learn your purpose

Fear comes from lack vision. If you don’t have the road map for your life, then you don’t know if you are lost. Lack of knowledge makes you start to tremble for fear of the unknown. Imagine crossing a river and you only have an hour before the storm. Now would you keep rowing to your destiny or you keep wasting your time thinking what others are thinking of you? Do you think what others think of you would make a difference in your life on the boat? NO! It doesn’t. what matters is you have a goal and limited time and you should get there as soon.
People without purpose, therefore, struggle a lot.
When you have a lot to lose in life, then you stop caring about what is irrelevant. That should be why people with family are more with decisive and focused than the single.

self esteem activities: Find your purpose

3-Affirm your self

Self-affirmation seems not a working exercise. The challenge is most people won’t go through the exercises and quit prematurely. Somethings are hard to change in short time. They say a single negative opinion needs 20  positive opinions to cancel out. We also tend to remember the negative more than the positive.

When you affirm yourself that you can, then you are cancelling out the negative you already have. And you need a lot of it for it to work. Continue doing it no matter what the results are.

self esteem activities: affirm yourself.

4-Do what others are not willing to do

Why not wake up at 5 and finish the day’s work or exercise or cook or do something that makes you better than the majority. An sales man once said he(like a paranoid) woke up early every morning to take fresh air before others take it.

Why not have a different habit that you never had. I call it breaking a pattern. Change of habit needs disrupting the current activity.

Months before, I planned a change change in my life and then I changed things I do on daytime. I changed where I stay and with whom I stayed. And guess what it was hard. I had to struggle not to return to my past activities. People were questioning my disappearance from past places. But I insisted and stayed away. And it worked. I made a new habit. And with that I was a better person.

self esteem activities: change pattern.  

5-Get you head up

Years before I was a shy boy. I used to avoid walking among a crowed even among friends. And one day I wanted to stop that feeling and to become confident once again. And that morning, I went to class with sandals. That was hard decision. People noticed, some laughed that I did something new. And I didn’t care. At least I forced myself away from caring. I started holding my head high and walking slowly between crowed. Each time I did that, I was better. I was building confidence. And weeks after I got myself doing the same but without fear and over thinking.

What can you do to lose your deepest fear? Is that as easy as holding your head up?

self esteem activities: get your head up(free)

6-Express your weakness before others do

Last time I was on a  date, and before any issue of who is paying was raised, I jumped in to conversation frankly saying that I didn’t bring any money for dinner except few dollars for tea. And we laughed probably without her knowing that I was telling the truth. And that happened. We had tea and water for few dollars and we walked around and I drove her home. We had a great time. What if I hadn’t told her about money until the bill appeared? Who knows?

You should learn to express your weakness right before it is raised by others.

Years before I told a friend that he could fight his inability of expressing feeling by reflecting opinions on his partner. I told him to say to her ‘’ I am not good at expressing feeling, you will probably teach me that’’ and it worked for him. His partner was dying to teach him to do that. And that was beautiful. Don’t be afraid to tell your strength and your weakness upfront when it is necessary.

self esteem activities: tell your weakness as story.

I hope these tips give you an idea and challenge to grow in your life with out fear. Confidence is also an excersise. It takes time to have unshaking esteem.

Good luck.