Change is a bogus word. It is weird;complicated and out of this world. People won’t prefer to change unless it hits home. Because life in the box is safe. It is better than the more beautiful out of the walls. How to change is still a question in many people’s book.
People want to change but they can’t. They promise to change but they find themselves in same spiral. Others decide to change habits and attitudes when it is too late. A smoker quits when he loses his lungs; a woman divorces when she loses her moral to make family again; a student starts studying when they fail. It is possible and obvious and it happens every day around us.
The problem is not because of laziness but because of the wiring in the mind.
1-Sciences supported theories talk about the protective behaviour of the mind.
The mind has the responsibility to keep us safe by analysing the possible way out. When you hesitate for a second, the mind takes it as a sign of danger, and anger is to be avoided. When you want to change, you think of the possible dark corners of the path and you hesitate and the mind shuts down like an afraid dog. You can’t move forward with the deep confused thought in the brain. You are worried all of a sudden. The worry becomes stress and the stress becomes to depression. This is the way the mind stops possible dangers out there.
Second, changes need energy.
And energy is what our body has less. The body should conserve as much energy to get you to another day. To do that, it should help you rest than work. It is also same in animals. See most animals that need a lot of food. A lion sleeps 20 hours a day.
The mind possibly must hate change since, one, it exposes you to possible risk and, two, it takes a lot of energy.
How to change, the three ways
1-Never listen to your mind.
Your mind is like a protective dog, it barks even in the presence of the loved ones. It does not mean the loved ones are there to attack you. It is the way it is wired and trained. To change, it takes to show possible ways of change for the mind. When you fear, you should tell yourself that it is OK to fear but it is not the place to fear. The mind also wobbles. It is like a tread of cloths, it is everywhere and in everything.
2-Think of what to change and how to change just before you go to sleep.
Moments before going to bed is a good time to plan the next day. Some claim that a subconscious mind, that is the powerful but passive part of mind, makes decision when the conscious mind, that is responsible for our day to day function, is asleep. So, when you are in half sleep mode, your subconscious starts functioning. This is why hypnosis is done is a sleepy mode. The subconscious mind, although it is the silent part of the mind knows what is necessary for the mind without biased of the wobbling conscious.
In this state, the mind is going to rest, that is in congruent with the need of the mind itself. Then the mind will give out opinions without bias. You should plan your day in this time and plan of tomorrow. Since we fear the reality we tend to snap our mind out of the reality or the present. This includes using phone, talking or music, Allen watts claim that these habits are way of getting out of the reality.
Here you should stop distracting the mind and start thinking. Write your thoughts if you can. And write what the mind tells you should change.
The best way to change is to break patterns. Stop reading and think how you pass your day every day. If you are average joe. You go to work, you sit in front of desk for 8 hours. In the middle, you go out for coffee or bathroom. In lunch time, you gather with similar friends to talk about the weather or wife or the girl that you saw in the morning.
This is the biography of most people. Most people don’t have something to tell at the end.
First, you should know change takes at least 21 days.
Most of you despair without even trying. 15 days is not enough. I believe the computer age affected as in to fast forward, short videos, precise information and more. The only thing that does not change is discipline and hard work without these it is still impossible to produce useful things. You should stick to what you want for at least 21 days to see a change.
Then learn to break the daily patterns of your life.
How to change becomes concrete in this step. If you are compulsive drinker, don’t fight to stop drinking. What you should have to do is to dig deep and make association. Think where you drink, with whom you drink, what time, who initiates, who pays, how much you spent per month. To break the pattern, start from the source. If you have peer pressure, stop meeting these people. If you drink yourself, find out what leads you to do that, depression or hopelessness. Find out why. or just join rehab. They will tell you what to do.
If you want to change a problem in your sexual life. Think what makes you low energy. What part you want to change. Then break it. If you watch Adult movies, throw them away. Keep it that way for 21 days. If you don’t speak with you wife a lot, do that to night. Cook with her, sit her down without being creepy, since it is new habit for her, and ask her how her day was. If you don’t like how your cloth, then find cloths that you like purchase then and clear then as you wish.
The secret is to start with one step and make thousands along the way. Breaking a pattern is all about finding the things you do that gets you away from success and break then and replace them with new habit.
If you think about it, how to change is easy. To change with in only 3 months, first you should learn not to relay your decisions on the wobbling mind. Then think of what you want to change and how to change just before you go to sleep. This is the best time for you to think silently, clearly and deeply. Then refer what you note on this day and do them on the following day.
Learn to break the pattern that you boxed the mind is. To change, you should change your living environment, your habits. You should teach your mind that things are new now. You can’t no more sit on the computer for hours now. Even if you don’t like it, you can’t open your PC, so put it away locked to remind yourself not to use them. Instead go and visit people, stay in park, following your schedules.
Do that for at least for 21 days. Then you shall see the change in effect as soon.
What do you think. Comment below.