Confession of the man
And I have bad habits. As a book worm, I usually keep asking and questioning, interrogating myself against the moral and theoretical stands of the books I read. I keep asking what am I doing, what should I do to improve it. I am a worrier in the essence of the term itself. Yes, I am grand worrier. I worry till the dawn gets lit and the day get dark. I worry for the challenges I have and for the possible challenges that could happen. And I worry for things I don’t know and for things I can’t explain. I worry.
I am also critical. My detailing mind does not politely ignore the tiny drop of black mark at the edge of the white shirt or it won’t disregard the misalignment of a single thread in colleague’s coat. I criticize how big Suzan’s glass is in relation to her small eyes and I secretly criticise the small pointed nose or criticize the possible ambitions of the girl that starts conversations with me in the office for no reason. That is not it. I am much harsher on myself. I self-criticize hundreds of times than I could criticize others. Whatever I do passes through my criticism.
I am perfectionist. I am not perfect, don’t get me wrong. But I need everything to be perfect or at least pretend to be one with much care not to be exposed. Spelling errors irritate me. I even wouldn’t read your article if I find mistakes. (I now make intentional mistakes to silence my brain)
(change your habit change your life)
What do you have to confess?
Life is homework. It has to be lived, but fighting the demons that push you down and try to bury you. In life, it is only you who can identify your weakness, confess them and combat them to you become otherwise.
Here I will show you 5 steps I learnt on how to change your life by changing you habits.
1-First, you have to understand what habits are. ( change your habit change your life )
Habits are characters that you do them without realizing that you are doing them. They are you and you are your habit. Without conscious realization of them you can’t even identify what your habits are. For example, you might know someone who cleans his/her nose hundreds of times on family dinner. There is a woman you know who talks every time and she does not know she talks too much. There is someone who criticise himself as useless and believed it and living with it. You notice it but they usually can’t.
So where do you get a report on your bad and good habits.
2-Well, first, ask someone you know. ( change your habit change your life )
Ask them, what do they like about you; what do they hate about you; what annoys them about you? Don’t confront them even don’t be serious when you ask. And don’t be offended when they tell you the truth. Believe me you will be. But it is for your own good.
3-Ask yourself. Mind map your activity. ( change your habit change your life )
What makes you tick. What makes you fear. When didn’t you perform as you were supposed to. How long do you spend without work? What did you do last time that you were ashamed of but you helped your mind forget. What is it that you promise not to do again for the last 7 years. Just write them down as fast as you can.
Third, find these natural weaknesses from ‘personality type’ type questions. Many people don’t believe in personality types and astrology. It doesn’t matter whether you do or not here. But if you can’t answer this question using the first two question, then refer to these documents to see if their explanations fit you.
After few hours or days come back, revise your notes and categorize them by removing clutters and repetitions.
4- For the next one week or more keep watching out for them and notice when they happen. ( change your habit change your life )
Write them down on the moment; quoting your emotion and your surprise. For example, you could be pathological liar. You caught your self-lying about the price of your dress. This is nothing. This is simple. But this is the bad habit you have, and don’t give it excuse. We call them bad habits not because that are bad but they are bad your purpose.
5-Next time when you find yourself on same position, consciously choose not to practice them. Here the ‘’5 second rule’’ could help you consciously avoid these situations. (#4) ( change your habit change your life )
If you have caught your self-watching that nude magazine that you hide under your bed, like John, a young man I met at workplace, then record when you would feel doing that. What is the occasion? Is your wife away? Are your parents not around? Are you bored or probably horny? It is natural. But this habit could hinder your progress in life. It could limit your potential from making your wife happy. It could make you be shy or make you look you hide something all of your life, killing your sexual confidence.
Your wife is out and you are back to your little dirty game. You have two options here: sit there and keep doing what every you did a day before or say no and leave as fast as you can. The second one is much harder to do. But the Mel’s five second rule could help you. You count 5-4-3-2-1 and throw the magazine possibly in to fire. And promise yourself only to be happy with your wife and do that.
If you find your self-cheating in exam once again. Think why you are not studying hard. And next time you find yourself watching the whole season of Kardashian or whatever, stand up and Shut the TV down. Or disconnect the cable and promise not to reconnect until the end of the semester. Write that down. That is a great leap.
6-Read books and watch other’s experience. ( change your habit change your life )
Whom do you like most in life? What do they do in life that you want to be part of or that you want to grow to? Practice their way. Change your place, your location.
If you keep doing that for a while then one day you will find yourself being a better person. You will be an example in life. Your journey could be story to be told. Your life can become a legend.