I don’t know what to do in my life

I don’t know what to do in my life : 5 tips to figure out what grand thing to do in your life

“I don’t know what to do in my life” Many people question the purpose of their life on earth. They are confused. If you feel that you don’t know what you are doing, if you are bored of life and you need it won’t happen, you are not alone. Many people are trying to figure it out. People in the first world are looking for a deeper meaning of life that could get them happiness. They are searching the secret key that could show them the trail to eternal success and purposeful life.

If you are like most of the people out there, you don’t know what to do in your life. You keep pushing yourself into over thinking, depression and over compensation of your actions by doing what things that hurt you. Forgetting your purpose and live for others as if others are better than you are.

You don’t stand for nothing because it does not matter if you choose the first or the second. It all same for you as long as they like it. Or as long as it fits. You don’t have your choice, your friends choose what you order for lunch, at least you hesitate.

This is not all new. But you should figure out your life before it is too late. I will give you five points you should consider to figure out what you have to do I your life so that you could be happy.

1-Change a place

Most of the time, where we live what we do affects our life. If you are dependent and if you waste your money living off your mother’s couch, think again. You should stand up and get the hell out. You should start your own life. The purpose of life doesn’t come to you on air like the myths. You should go and find them. The good things in life are not handed cheap, they need you dig a surface, enter a pit, wash the dirt off, filter the valuable from the rest and you shall find them in smallest form shiny and beautiful. Asking a question, reading more on purpose does not change a thing. You shall go out and hustle.

The first step should be being responsible. Even though this doesn’t make a sense, this is the path. And it is messy. You shall go through it. And think again, in the dark there is the enemy, there is the wild beasts there are the insects that drink out your blood out of your body. But you have to do it any ways. You should stand up and find your destiny. And that is not found in your messy bed room and that is not in your friend’s conversation and that is not in that rich man’s pocket and that is not in new boyfriend’s world. It is inside you and you should find it by going against the wind.

2-Stand for something

“If you haven’t found something you are willing to die for, you aren’t fit to live.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

If you don’t have value to live with, if you don’t have purpose to live for, you are not fit to live. This is harsh, I know. And it hurts me much to say this. But that is the truth. And the truth shall set us free. If you don’t have value in life, then set it now. The book says ‘’love others as much as you love yourself.’’ You are not obliged to love others more than you love yourself. You are told, even in religion, to love others as much as you love yourself. And even if you want, you can’t.

You should set your value here. A drug head who says he loves you or a woman with multiple partners who thinks she is in love with you, does not love you. Because she does not love herself in the first place. She does not love her body. She does not value it. Your purpose is aligned with your value. What you value in life affects your way to your purpose. After realizing this, you should be able to figure out for what to stand for. What is that itches you for long and you shut your lips off not to speak. What is it that only you are thinking about to change but no one else does. Think what is that one thing you want to do so that the people will recognize you for.

While talking about how he selects winners on a competition, a professional photographer jury, said ‘’If I say, damn, I wish that was my work, then It means it is good work.’’

Look up to people whose life is more fulfilled than you. What are they doing? Can you stand for what they stand for? Can you copy their cause in your own context or invent one, aligned with your purpose? Do something.

3-Have a challenge

Challenges make you stronger. If you are like those boys in your town who chew tobacco all day and look for clubs at night watch out. You will keep questioning yourself for the rest of your days. You need to have a target to achieve a year from now, gain 20 pounds. Lose 12 pounds, finish school before 30, get a raise at job. A challenge makes your stronger. It gives you reason to live for.

Promise to wake up at 6 every day.

And do it. I know this is very little. But this are the things that we wish to have looking other’s life. Wake up and get exercise, make breakfast and surprise your family. Run few kilometres each day.  Or write 1000 words about your life every day. Have note book and write your thoughts. Do the things that you were procrastinating for months. Stand up and do them.   Don’t quit until the day you promised yourself to finish.

4-Write your life and change it

Start a diary. If you already have it. Then read it back and see what is similar. What is the top three things that you complain about? Single them out.  You know life is vague and cannot be told as a movie that you see in an hour or two. It’s much more complicated. I know African story that father told us when we were children.

There was a farmer with bulls and cows on his farm.

Every night, the barn was without peace. The noise from the cattle could not give him sleep and neighbours were complaining a lot.  He thought for a while and the next evening he separated the cattle in two places. He noticed the one on the left slept peacefully that night. The next morning, he separated the groups of bulls that were disturbing all night. And he noticed one group was peaceful.

He kept separating the group that was making noise and fighting. You know the ending. At last he found that it was one bull that was disturbing the group and he had to work on that bull to make it useful for his farm. Life is same. You have to understand your life, figure out your purpose out of the blurred world and be it. Writing gives you a tool to dissect your thoughts.

5-You make the rules

After all, you make the rules. When you study hard at school, who got the A? It was you. When you don’t study and get D, it was you who get that. It is up to you to study or not; to be or not to be. You make the rules.  Then make the rules. One person I have heard speaking on social media once said, you have to find what you want to do even if that does not seem useful and do that.

Shape your thought, what you wear, how you speak, with whom to be and do that.

Don’t listen what the world says. Don’t listen to your hesitating heart. Design your life style around what you want to do and practice it for years. Don’t rush. What is got with time is more valuables. Work on yourself. Don’t flinch from your life design. Be that everywhere until you want to change that. Then one day you will find yourself telling your story for other. You will find yourself inspiring others. But your live starts here.

Now, I have told you five main points. To find your purpose, first you have to change your physical conditions, then you should figure out what to stand for, even if it seems silly. Then to achieve that or other goals in life set a goal and challenge yourself. And on the process, change your habit. Document your life and reflect on it and finally review your life and make the rules to design your life.

And live that life you imagined the heck out it.

 

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life is short_ grand self

Life is short. 6 reasons that you should live life like a hero

Teenage is the crazy age. It is age that we thought we are the one in the world. We thought that we were the saviour of the chaos world. Our small ideas were better than the best of the world.  We feel we are living our life to the best, playing soccer all day, watching tv and imagining what would it be shopping like the celebrity we saw on tv. When we finished college, after sex and drink crazed life, we then think to settle, to work harder and make money in order to payback our loans that we rent and spent carelessly or to pay our mortgage. The promises of the world and the fantasy of our child hood is over by now. Welcome to real world, real life, of group of beasts who snatched you before you opened your bleary eyes.

Wherever you live this is the story of your life for most of you. You finished college and you don’t like your educational background. Or you don’t want to work in the field that you spent thousands to learn.  You spend 20 and 30 years of your life working for a company that doesn’t value your ability. You live to see 40 or 50. By then, if you are lucky the only legendry thing you have done is your children and grandchildren. By now you are getting tired, may be sitting in hospital wheelchair or in foster home. And you died and your children are crying. Your friends didn’t make it to see your funeral. They wept for few days and your pics are off from the walls. You are soon forgotten. And this is your life history.

life is short_ grand selfLife is short. Do when the time is still.

I meet people with numerous reasons for not doing what they like in this short life. I have met many people who think that life on earth is a temporary tent that will be gone someday and be replaced with other for them to live the life they love. For some the world doesn’t matter. It doesn’t not change. It is a place ruled by few and they have no place in it.

In fact, all of the above could be true. We might be people whose life is short and limited on earth and our true life could be somewhere else. Life might not need our input as there are other millions that could do what we do. But you should put these thoughts into context, and they don’t endure the reality. You should realize that you should live and die the way it is best for you and the world around you.

I will give you five simple reasons why I think you should do something valuable in this short life.

1-If you are a human enough to figure out the world on your terms, then you should live on your terms.

Many people give a reason for not living the life they wish to live including a religion. You could be the most religious person like my parents, your life should be lived with purpose that encompassed the earth. Even Jesus lived on earth with a purpose but also with actions, that got him killed. If you think it through, his birth and death were on purpose. He knew from the beginning that he would die but he did it any ways. Think of anyone who made a difference in the world. Even though they had enemies they didn’t back down from their dreams, their rebellious life.

2-your contribution is needed.

It is a fact that there are millions that could do what you do. There are millions that could take your place at your job with in a snap of second. This is a scarce age. Jobs are being lost to new economic countries. Robots and technology are substituting many people’s jobs. But you can’t deny that your experience is worth sharing. I recently watched a man sharing his life before he became a pro football player. He shares his fatherless life and his drug induced mother and his life in foster homes and how this gave him courage and a new view to life. His history is to be kept safe, hidden for many. But no matter how the story goes, it was worth sharing. It at least gave some a glimpse of how life is short and  fragile.  Do something valuable.

3-Your moral code.

What do you prefer? Life or death, prosperity or poverty, being a leader or and employee, known figure or a person who lived without a story. Which one is attractive? Which one do you prefer? The end of achievement is happiness. What makes you happy should be your life’s path. And if being ‘’low life ‘’ makes you happy, then be it.

4-Don’t die being someone’s slave

Getting paid in penny, making income that barely covers rent, buying cloths once a year, living off coupons. This is most people’s life. Why would you work for others for less when you can start your own and take it all? This is a dangerous statement. But it is definitely true. You are no less of a human than your boss. Why would you not start your own firm? Why wouldn’t you have people of your own and why wouldn’t you pay your employees the way that they should be paid?

5-Fit to live.

If you don’t have something to die for, then you are not fit to live. This is a statement of a man that died for the purpose he stood for.

“If you haven’t found something you are willing to die for, you aren’t fit to live.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

As Allen Watts say, what is that thing that itches you? You should pursue that. You should stand for things that you need to stand for. That is a sign of mature one, that is useful to the world.

6-You will be asked for it.

As a teenager, I used to think that we have a place of our own. We have responsibilities. It is our choice to do them or not. If we do them we reap the results. If we don’t, then somebody else will do that. You know the world is full of people who can replace us. And every time we are being judged for it.  If you don’t treat your wife the way she has to be treated then someone else will and you will reap the results. If you don’t can’t work your job properly someone else will. And if you don’t fulfil you path blaming it on God, and self-faults, you will lose what you have.

There is a beautiful bible story about a master that gave three people a money to work with and profit. When the master returned they showed him their achievement. One made it double then master said give him twice of what he has got. The second made 10 times more profit with it. Then master gave him 10 times more of what the he profited. The third one complained, told a story and said he hid it until the master returned. He even gave a reason for his laziness. Then master looked at the solders and said, ‘’take him to prison he doesn’t belong here.

‘’ Then he said ‘’For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath.’’ Jesus

Working on yourself _ grand self

Working on yourself : 10 step process to change your life in 6 month

Many people don’t like how they look. Others don’t like their current status in life. They don’t like where they live, where they spent their time. They only dream tomorrow to be better and live life without purpose only wake up one day and see that nothing has changed.

Many people compensate their non-satisfaction in life with compulsive behaviour, eating like a pig, acting crazy, heavily drinking and shopping.

What it takes in life to change is to decide, to pull out and bury what has died and go on in life. Working on your self is necessary.

I will show you the steps on working on yourself for the next 6 months to one year to change your life for the better.

  1. Imagine your role models. What good they have that you wish to have. Car, money… yes write them down.
  2. What do you wished to have for long. Bigger body, taller height, fair skin, better job.
  3. Now see how you can achieve them. Things like taller height seems to be impossible once you passed certain age. SO, don’t waste time on finding solution. Of course some things are possible like having better skin.
  4. After categorizing them, choose top five things that you should achieve within the next 6 months. It could be like, learn French, get muscle, get new job, have a date and renovate my room. Be as specific as possible to make sure they are attainable.
  5. In this stage, get real. Don’t only say get muscle, research and write like gain 30 pounds in 6 months. Then follow a certain training. Don’t just write I want to get a job. write I will look for 10 offices and call 30 offices every day and ask for job.
  6. Here change the already made organisation of life you have. Change your bed; how your cloth and change where you stay. Even change your friends if you feel they are dragging you back.
  7. Hire someone to make you do what you have to do. Persona trainer, business trainer, body trainer. Or go out yourself and grind. Look for people with similar desire, register on the internet forums or communities. Participate.
  8. Change does not happen in a day. So, follow your schedule. Never listen to your wobbling mind. It is trying to help you save energy by telling you to quit. No need to listen. Avoid its little mummers and go on to that gym you started. Don’t even waste a second. Just do it.  Don’t listen to others when encouraging you quit. People usually tend to do that. Follow your dram that you had when you leave home.
  9. Have a journal. Journal helps you notice ups and downs. It helps you stay true to yourself.
  10. After 6 months look back and rewrite what was good, what went wrong. Ask if you achieved your goals. You have written a lot with in the last six months. Write your summary of the six months. Organize then and reread them.

You can publish them, share them with the world on the internet. You can share them with people you know. And for the rest of the days go on second part of your life. Continue doing what you have done for the rest of your life.

Changing life is not easy. However; working on your self is necessary. It is must to change your life when you think you don’t need them anymore. Instead of sitting and thinking and daydreaming, act today, follow these steps and achieve your greatness.

Change your habit change your life _ grand self

Change your habit change your life

Confession of the man

And I have bad habits. As a book worm, I usually keep asking and questioning, interrogating myself against the moral and theoretical stands of the books I read. I keep asking what am I doing, what should I do to improve it. I am a worrier in the essence of the term itself. Yes, I am grand worrier. I worry till the dawn gets lit and the day get dark.  I worry for the challenges I have and for the possible challenges that could happen. And I worry for things I don’t know and for things I can’t explain. I worry.

I am also critical. My detailing mind does not politely ignore the tiny drop of black mark at the edge of the white shirt or it won’t disregard the misalignment of a single thread in colleague’s coat. I criticize how big Suzan’s glass is in relation to her small eyes and I secretly criticise the small pointed nose or criticize the possible ambitions of the girl that starts conversations with me in the office for no reason.  That is not it. I am much harsher on myself. I self-criticize hundreds of times than I could criticize others. Whatever I do passes through my criticism.

I am perfectionist. I am not perfect, don’t get me wrong. But I need everything to be perfect or at least pretend to be one with much care not to be exposed. Spelling errors irritate me.  I even wouldn’t read your article if I find mistakes. (I now make intentional mistakes to silence my brain)

(change your habit change your life)

Change your habit change your life _ grand self

What do you have to confess?

Life is homework. It has to be lived, but fighting the demons that push you down and try to bury you. In life, it is only you who can identify your weakness, confess them and combat them to you become otherwise.

Here I will show you 5 steps I learnt on how to change your life by changing you habits.

1-First, you have to understand what habits are. ( change your habit change your life )

Habits are characters that you do them without realizing that you are doing them. They are you and you are your habit. Without conscious realization of them you can’t even identify what your habits are. For example, you might know someone who cleans his/her nose hundreds of times on family dinner. There is a woman you know who talks every time and she does not know she talks too much. There is someone who criticise himself as useless and believed it and living with it. You notice it but they usually can’t.

So where do you get a report on your bad and good habits.

2-Well, first, ask someone you know. ( change your habit change your life )

Ask them, what do they like about you; what do they hate about you; what annoys them about you?  Don’t confront them even don’t be serious when you ask. And don’t be offended when they tell you the truth. Believe me you will be. But it is for your own good.

3-Ask yourself. Mind map your activity. ( change your habit change your life )

What makes you tick. What makes you fear. When didn’t you perform as you were supposed to. How long do you spend without work? What did you do last time that you were ashamed of but you helped your mind forget. What is it that you promise not to do again for the last 7 years. Just write them down as fast as you can.

Third, find these natural weaknesses from ‘personality type’ type questions. Many people don’t believe in personality types and astrology. It doesn’t matter whether you do or not here. But if you can’t answer this question using the first two question, then refer to these documents to see if their explanations fit you.

After few hours or days come back, revise your notes and categorize them by removing clutters and repetitions.

4- For the next one week or more keep watching out for them and notice when they happen. ( change your habit change your life )

Write them down on the moment; quoting your emotion and your surprise. For example, you could be pathological liar. You caught your self-lying about the price of your dress. This is nothing. This is simple. But this is the bad habit you have, and don’t give it excuse. We call them bad habits not because that are bad but they are bad your purpose.

5-Next time when you find yourself on same position, consciously choose not to practice them. Here the ‘’5 second rule’’ could help you consciously avoid these situations. (#4) ( change your habit change your life )

If you have caught your self-watching that nude magazine that you hide under your bed, like John, a young man I met at workplace, then record when you would feel doing that. What is the occasion? Is your wife away? Are your parents not around? Are you bored or probably horny? It is natural. But this habit could hinder your progress in life. It could limit your potential from making your wife happy. It could make you be shy or make you look you hide something all of your life, killing your sexual confidence.

Your wife is out and you are back to your little dirty game. You have two options here: sit there and keep doing what every you did a day before or say no and leave as fast as you can. The second one is much harder to do. But the Mel’s five second rule could help you. You count 5-4-3-2-1 and throw the magazine possibly in to fire. And promise yourself only to be happy with your wife and do that.

If you find your self-cheating in exam once again. Think why you are not studying hard. And next time you find yourself watching the whole season of Kardashian or whatever, stand up and Shut the TV down. Or disconnect the cable and promise not to reconnect until the end of the semester. Write that down. That is a great leap.

6-Read books and watch other’s experience. ( change your habit change your life )

Whom do you like most in life? What do they do in life that you want to be part of or that you want to grow to? Practice their way. Change your place, your location.

If you keep doing that for a while then one day you will find yourself being a better person. You will be an example in life. Your journey could be story to be told. Your life can become a legend.

life goals _ grand self

Life goals: how goals help you achieve your purpose

life goals _ grand self‘’What is the difference between a goal and a vision?’’ The college teacher snapped on the class. ‘’How didn’t you know the difference?’’, he continued exaggerating, with his widely opened eyes and a grim on his face.

‘’What is the difference?’’ We murmured for ourselves, lost in the event.

Here is the difference.

Vision is the dream, the day dream, the ultimate destiny. And it is vast and abstract. Then you need something much more detail than a vision to achieve that vision. You need a goal or set of goals. Goals are down to earth, practical and achievable. For example, to be first in technology is vast. One can ask, what technology, who is the judge, in what competition, in what cost? And more.

Goals are written as ‘’sell 100,000 pieces of the app in one year and even more detailed to months and days.’’ How and who is doing what.

Then life is the same. Whether you think God gave you the purpose or you made it yourself, the term ‘’Purpose of life’’ is vast. Whatever purpose you have it is wide and vast enough that you day dream in it. Achieving what is vast and abstract is then remotely impossible.

For this you need goals with schedules that you can follow up and measure your performance in it.

In this post, I will show you how to set a goal and how to achieve it and measure your progress in it, based on my recent experience.

Look everywhere, life is full of visions and purposes. But without goals these are just images.  A student’s purpose of joining college to graduate, get job. Goals do not fanaticize. A student’s goal could be study two hours a day, finish your homework before 8. This is tangible.

Four months ago, I had a breakthrough in life. I break a bit long relationship with girlfriend. My life was in a mess, at least in my mind. I had a brain fatigue that I was dizzy working in office. My eyes were swollen for months but I could not be decisive enough to see a doctor.

Probably the time before that were one of the most challenging in my life. I have always known I could be the best I could be. I have always dreamt of being on top. Inventing something. Owning something.  My fantasy was all over the place. The first day I noticed that fantasy and their strange challenge, I sat there on my bed and thought and thought. How could life continue in day dream? What am I waiting for?

And after a long authoring my life in short of 10 pages, a new idea was born.

I need goals. I need five major goals that could change my life in six months.

“Make sure you set SMART goals. They should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Timed” – Peter Turla

For the sake of education, here at the six goals

Change my mind through daily affirmations. Affirmations are assured to work. Listening them or saying one for myself in the morning and evening is much better than listening to music. I set schedule to say my affirmations on 6 in the morning and 12 in mid night for 30 minutes.

Go to Gym four times a week

I registered to join the gym next door.  I decided to gain 7-10 kilos more gradually with in five months.

Read the bible twice a day, morning and evening.

I grew up as a Christian. And most of my decisions were made in reflection from the bible. And I felt that reconnecting to that book would make me reconnect with my roots where I was raised with.

Start a site that help other realize their purpose and goals. For this, I started writing each day minimum of 1000 words. I shall write at 8 in the evening for about 30 or more minutes.

This were few of the goals.

I set. Even though each listed above seems to be big to achieve, goals are attached with them. For example, in the last one, I would say I write from 7-8 o’clock, about 1000-1500 words. This is achievable.

Then you need schedule. Goals need schedules. You can’t say I write 1000 words. You have to set aside a time that you will accountable for.

I got to gym after lunch between 2-3. I stay for an hour. I preferred this hour for two reasons, for there are only few other lifters, as the time is work hour and I am free at that time. I also go to the gym on Mondays, Tuesday, Thursdays and Friday.

For this I prepare a table. Or I categorize weekly schedule of set of exercises I follow. I put journals each day on my feelings of the day, my weight and more. The passion, and the urge to know my progress pushes me faster.

One more thing you should have is a finite time. Don’t think goals as something to rush through. Most young have the energy and they set unrealistic goals. Be true to yourself. Life is a progress. Don’t say, I want to get buffed up in a week. Set some time, for example, that is realistic to gain weigh would be 4-6months, even to lose weight would be around that unless you work out for hours and hours each day.
Don’t rush, this is not Hollywood. Set a six-month plan. And make sure the goals should be strong and the make a difference.

Write by the end of the six months, ‘’I lost 30 pounds. For this I got gym for four days a week. I lift 30 dumbbells or I run for 30 minutes. For this, I only buy vegetables (list them) and eat at 8,11,2,4, and 7.’’

‘’I want to get fluent in Japanese language. For this I practice an hour a day. I will talk with Mr. Yogi to teach me once a week. I watch 3 Japanese movies on Friday, Sunday and Tuesdays. ‘’

Finally, remember that purpose is vast. Vison is unachievable. They are designed to be that way. You need goals and schedules to get to your vision. By setting realistic goals according to your visions and by following the up with a schedule, you will achieve your dreams.

purpose in life _ grand self

Know your purpose in life, build a brand and market the hell out of it.

purpose in life _ grand self‘’Last week I was in the zone, in the mood. I had these three ideas I wanted to do as a purpose in life. They were not meant to get me money nor they were part of my ideals of what my purpose in life is. But I had them in mind so deep, I wanted to do them. This week I am already bored of one, and I have picked new one. My life is full of picking and dropping ideas. In fact, I have witnessed some people picking up the craps I dropped and turned them into tangible. When shall this madness stop and real contribution of mine takes place?’’

Here I need to share what I have learnt the ways to identify your purpose in life, build a brand around it and make yourself useful out of it.

Keep working on your purpose in life in this cluttered world

Years before, life was similar for almost all. The American dream, and many other dreams that are not defined with two words. The life principle of our parents was to ‘’get schooled, follow rules, get decent job and serve the company until retirement and get pension for the rest of your life.’’ This system was not in fact a bad deal for most. You know they say ‘’in the land of the blind, one eyed man is a king/queen.’’ (excuse my quote.)

They would not have known a better life than the one that paid the mortgage. They had to survive on whatever they were given. For authors like Seth Godin, this life is no more appealing for the ‘computer generation’. Jobs could be created in a snap of finger and gone in same snap of finger. Your purpose in life in the previous world is to stick in and work hard, not stick out and be unique. This kept you safe in the group.

Ridicule and criticism is not for these who sticks in but these that stick out.

They say ‘’stay in the group, walk together and you will be fine.’’ It’s like being in a class and you don’t know the answer. And the teacher points at you while you are contemplating and praying they wouldn’t pick you. You try not to make sudden move, no eye contact, stay similar to others. But you are picked. No matter how much you try to stick in, there is probability that you will be picked as other will be picked.

Today, there are thousands of medias, thousands of newspapers and thousands of books. Mediums are not scarce as were years before. You no more only follow BBC because there are hundreds of BBCs in the world that can give you same level of quality news. The question in this era, as some said, is not ‘’who is speaking, but who is heard.’’

Information overload is the new disease. Lack of knowledge and information limited the life of our parents and information overload limited our lives.

Today, purpose in life is mistakenly judged in three main ways.

1-Money:

everyone in this age is talking about the money. Money money…Don’t get me wrong, money great motivation. But this can’t be your entire purpose in life. I say, this even should not motivate you to live your purpose. In fact, most people that made change in history were poor and they lived a life fulfilled and poured out to us even to this day.

Jesus was poor. Even his disciples have written, they would not love him on first sight as he was weak and not graceful. Buddha left comfort of his house and left in to wilderness to follow his heart and his purpose in life. Marx was so poor he didn’t have money to feed his children at some point. His family members passed away in starvation while many average minds live in comfort at the time. Money is not the purpose, it is something that drives you to your purpose in life, if you need it.

2-Kardasians:

Are the Kardashian living their purpose in life? Who knows. There are many families that are dreaming the Kardashian, their nude bottom, their glittering life, their fake appearance and dysfunctional relations. Millions are hooked on their shows. These figures become an example for the purpose fulfilled, diminishing smart minds and day dreamers.

This life was once, unfulfilled for our ancestors, in fact it was life despised. The recent music in raps, hip-hop and even other genres became a voice of the trash, addition, prostitution, gang, destroying own body, misogyny and more. Yet, we our life with these figures and they are our role model. I have to quote it again, ‘in the land of the blind, one eyed man is…’

(Hope you won’t hate me by this time. I am telling the truth.)

3-  The third superficial measure of fulfilment of life is marketing.

This is a world that everything is exaggerated. Godin talks about the reality of marketing in this age, saying ‘This is a product x, it has this average use; it is used by average people…’ Would you buy it?’’ He asks.  He replies ‘’no, no one would buy it. NO one likes average.’’

Therefore, a simple hair cream is advertised with models with long hair who have never tried the product before; cars are advertised with handsome men without flaws but are poor and living in their mother’s basement; burgers are advertised with big chested and tiny waisted women who never eat burgers. Looks and actions are deceiving and are exaggerated. You would be mistaken if you judge people’s purpose in life based on what you see. You should learn to look beyond the superficial, beyond what they wear, beyond the dialog.

If you understand how to not measure others and yourself in this age, then here is the secret in today’s age to live a fulfilled purposeful life.

1-Wobbling mind

The author of ‘the way of superior man’, writes, the purpose in life is different from the ideas that fly in your mind picking and dropping each day. These are not your purpose in life. The real purpose is what makes you urge more. This is what stick all time. This is you yourself. You can’t find this type of your purpose by reading a book or reading this article. This, you only can find it, sitting with yourself and thinking it through. What was it that you wanted to be when you were a child, or before you lost your identity. What is it the ticks you or what is that one or two things that everyone talks about you. Of course, I am following that humanistic path to purpose in life. But that answering these questions should give you your heart’s urge.

2-Once you find that, stick to it.

Develop it. Do it once a day, at least after work. Or if you have the money quit what you are doing and work on your purpose in life, if you are a writer, write the word of your dreams and products of your mind and share it. Keep doing it until it seems you are obsessed. Don’t listen to what people say, don’t fear the criticism. As Godin says life without criticism is for the ones that stick in and once you stick out and standout be sure criticism is on the way. For him life is like art and you are an artist. You have the option to keep in dark away from criticism or show your work and receive criticism. It’s up to you.

3-Then the next process it to create your brand.

I call it manifestation. Think of how to turn the idea, the abstract into material. For example. Think how your business personality could be manifested in your clothing, in your thinking, in your speech…Then be it. Live it. Wear it. Don’t wear suit, because someone else does. Wear what fits your brand. With this you create your brand, your image. This is what people talks of you.

John the Baptist of the bible, used to live in desert, eating grasshopper and desert honey. And that was what was what was written of him when he went to town to baptize people. Now you can imagine what his hair would look like, what his clothing would look like and what his social life would look like. His looks, designed or not, fit the purpose and no other was in town that looked like him.

4-Next step is to market it.

It seems cheating like the hair cream ads. But you should follow the 80-20 rule here. Work the 20 percent and advertise 80 percent of the time. Believe me the others are advertising themselves every time with the fake books and human hair and bad personality even on TV. They are showing off their extravagance, degrading women, talking trash. And  the ignorant majority admire them. If they did it 100 percent of the time, paying millions, why can’t you do it by marketing your 20 percent achievement by the 80 percent of your time? You should market your work, your life, your deeds.

Now pick your pen and write your thought on your purpose in life as much as you can. Cross out the clutter after a little thought. Look back the list after few days. Repeat the process until you find one or two things that you can manage, and work on it few months and even few years. In the process manifest the idea of your purpose to the world. Create your lifestyle and live it.

Finally, it is not about who is talking but who is being listened to. You don’t need money to advertise yourself but you have your uniqueness. And your uniqueness tells a story itself. And this image is real, earned, and it is a story told from the heart. Only your purpose in life makes you the legend in the life that you are day dreaming of.

the meaning of life _grand self

The meaning of life : 9 alternative meaning of life that you have to know

the meaning of life _grand self“What is the meaning of life? Why am I here? why am bored? What should I do in life?’’ These have been debating issues for long. People asked these questions starting from the beginning. We also ask these questions out of intellectual side, theological side or out of emotional distress and confusion in life.

One could claim life has no purpose as nihilists say. Life is without objective meaning. People like Nietzsche killed God and erased it out of the picture, then life without the creator would be meaningless. Therefore, life is without purpose. Therefore, only goals that inspire one should be the meaning for some one’s life.

Humanists say you should ask what is the meaning of my life, not what is the meaning of life. In either case, we often ask both. Whatever the meaning, we want to do good, get big, get enlightened about the world. Go green, find God, do good, become famous, get fit, get rich…all these are own definitions of getting meaning in life that later become goals of life for most. The following are public claims of meaning of life.

  • The meaning of life to become better.
  • The meaning of life is service.
  • it is experiencing life?
  • It Is being influential the purpose of life
  • The meaning of life is passing down gene…
  • Making others happy…making you loved one’s smile
  • Living life, the way I want?
  • Evolving in to better
  • There is no purpose to life
  • To know himself, know the creator and worship the creator.
  • There is no purpose to life. Only use your time to do what you love.
  • It is what you decide on your own
  • Live as you wish
  • Achieve enlightenment
  • The meaning of life is die satisfied
  • Things have no intrinsic meaning. It’s only the meaning we give to it.
  • Life is process and process does not have a purpose

In this post, I wanted to show you possible purposes of life that you can read and find yours’s from it.

  1. The meaning of life is development

Fox eats rabbit, rabbit eats grass, grass consumes nutrient from soil, soil fertilize on organism…life comes and goes. But one thing is for sure, no matter what happens for each organism in the system, the system itself has to continue to exist. Without further development of each, the system would break and all vanish. Imagine what if every rabbit stops to reproduce? The fox would die of hunger, the grass would cover all the ground and soil dies with overuse and everything dies on the way. Shinto, known Japanese religion, believes (purpose of) life is to live, not to die…  purify itself by rightful self-development.

Someone once said, ‘’the purpose of life is to grow.’’ Think of a kid that won’t grow for years, or won’t speak until 10 or what if your apple tree at back yard won’t give fruit or dried. We say that life is unfulfilled. He continues, the meaning of life could be defined from this perspective as to growth and develop.   

  1. The meaning of life is living with nature

After creating man, God ordered him to cultivate the earth. Immediate life for the first man was living with nature as a protector and nurturer of it. Naturalistic pantheism understands the meaning of life as to look after nature.

Antisthenes, a pupil of Socrates, also stated that the purpose of life is living a life of Virtue which agrees with Nature. Life is not living for the material possessions and even rejects desire for wealth and power. It is living harmoniously with nature that nature of man demands.

 

  1. The meaning of life is being happy

Epicurus saw what is good as whatever brings greatest happiness. And his meaning of life is as greatest happiness principle. Aristotle also said “Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”

Is the purpose of life really to be happy? For example, the bible completely changed the purpose of life from living happy in the garden of eve to a complete suffering on earth. The new world made due to man’s disobedience was not a place for joy but for hard work and suffering.

In any case, happiness should be the central part of life. Being honorable that might not make you happy for a while could actually be your source of happiness in a long run. Be happy.

 

  1. The meaning of life is the experience

If life does not equivalent experience, what else would it correspond to? The meaning of life is defined in terms of our experiences. A pragmatic knows that life is experienced empirically. Pragmatic philosophers say one should find practical understanding to life than what is abstract. Therefore, one should find the meaning through experience.

“We are the sum total of our experiences. Those experiences – be they positive or negative – make us the person we are, at any given point in our lives. And, like a flowing river, those same experiences, and those yet to come, continue to influence and reshape the person we are, and the person we become. None of us are the same as we were yesterday, nor will be tomorrow.”

― B.J. Neblett

 

  1. The meaning of life is we create our own purpose

“We create our own purpose in life. Now go create yours.” -Lex Luthor

Existentialism, also teaches that you create meaning yourself and God does not create one for yourself. They say purpose in life starts as one emerges in to existence. Søren Kierkegaard  reflects that life is making your own meaning in this indifferent world.  And one should live devoting and committing itself to something finite. Therefore, they create your own purpose in life. And you should look in to places that you can find your purpose and commit to it.

  1. The meaning of life is God’s has purpose for you

Negating what we said on prior point, we can say God has a plan when he sent a soul to earth. And no one emerged to make its own purpose but with God’s purpose. Theists think that humans find their purpose with in God’s ultimate purpose for them. And without God’s existence they say life is irrational One can disagree and argue saying that the ultimate purpose of man was in the garden failed since humans leave the garden with sin. The bible notes that this world is a temporary tent, waiting for the real castle to come. And hustling in this tent world that would be destroyed with storm is not the ultimate goal but to live in the world under the principles of the heavens. Then one can fulfill its purpose by agreeing with the principles of the bible. 

Christianity believes, the purpose of man is to seek salivation through grace of God. The Apostle Paul has spoken: “And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their pre-appointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings, so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.” 

 

  1. The meaning of life is doing greater good of the humanity

We are part of the whole. Creating meaning out of man’s urge to make sense of the world should also include to become useful for the progress of humanity. The disparity between poor and rich, the luxury and so much waste while the majority live off of a garbage can should be a concern for a man. If you want to live a fulfilled life, then you should have a problem that is away from a dress to wear to prom or a bigger house for new year. Living for others and creating to use others is the meaning. The Bahá’í Faith also claims that purpose of life is about service to humanity.

For this man needs duty. Duty is one of the most important pillars of life. Without duty life won’t exist. After God created the first man, he gave him a duty. A duty that could progress the life on earth for good. He said, name these animals. Take care of the earth and more and more unbelievably large out of mind tasks. How would one person could take care of the earth. How can he name millions of animals and entities on earth? But this heavy task is what Adam should accomplish to live on earth. Kant and other philosophers also think of this duty in terms of importance to state. How can you contribute to the greater good of the state, the country or maybe closer to home?

 

  1. The meaning of life is of no fear

For some life is a natural prison made and kept by the powerful. Fear is the ultimate suffering in this age. These include fear of pain, fear of not getting money, fear of rejection, fear of being evicted out of house. Fear is all around up. Epicurus taught at his time that one should find pleasure and peacefulness and free oneself from fear. And he taught fear could be abolished through knowledge, and limiting worldly desires. These desires could be similar to the ones that most philosophers and religious books speak of: desires of sex and appetites.

For Zeno of Citium, meaning of life is freedom from suffering through logic and having clear judgement.

 

  1. The meaning of life is love

The Mohist philosophers believed that the purpose of life was universal, impartial love. Mohism promoted a philosophy of impartial caring – a person should care equally for all other individuals, regardless of their actual relationship to him or her. The expression of this indiscriminate caring is what makes man a righteous being in Mohist thought. This advocacy of impartiality was a target of attack by the other Chinese philosophical schools, most notably the Confucians who believed that while love should be unconditional, it should not be indiscriminate. For example, children should hold a greater love for their parents than for random strangers.

Conclusion

What is the meaning of life ? Life could be given a bunch of meanings. The necessary thing is about understanding what you have and live for others with it. At the end of the day what matters most is what we do and it is not the definitions, the meanings. It is out actions. Life after all is accepting what god has made for us, making our path through it, serve others and nature with-it and be happy in it. With love, there is no fear.  Then figure out what you will do, that makes you happy, and do that. And remember to serve others and to love life itself along the way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is the boundary of self sacrifice?

  1. Self sacrifice

self sacrifice

What is the line between empathy and self sacrifice?

Well, it is contextual. It should be. For a hopeless romantic like Steve who has no boundary for others but who is yet virgin and jobless and his new girlfriend threatens she would leave him if he doesn’t sleep with her as soon or if can’t afford the new dress she wishes, it is a sacrifice. He gives his last 25 dollars away to a homeless looking thief that danced in front of him only to rob him . His empathic self gave him the knife and alter of self sacrifice.

I spent most of my life worrying about what others think of me, pretending and to fulfil the social self to make everyone happy .

My recent emphatic endeavour to create peace for couple with dysfunctional relationship took my time and decency away. I endangered my wellbeing and freedom through the process. 

I finally felt… they all have one thing in common: for everything they receive, they expect more. And they need you until you have something to give.

I know…life is good when lived for self first. Even the book says, “if you have two,give one.” If you only have one, how can you give?

read more on three layers of success that helps you where you are and why you are sacrificing instead of living.