bully _ grandself

7 deadly signs that you are living with a bully and the fastest way out

Your good deeds are defined against the perspective of others. Your dreams are dreamt in terms of other’s dreams. If you want to live a safe life, get away from people. If you want to live a strong life, filter your people.

Are you living with a bully, abuser, control freak? You name it.

Here are watch out signs that you are probably living with a bully and you are losing a lot in life.

1-They expect perfection from you and they are not even commited to smallest things in their life.

A father once punished his daughter for losing a penny. And only within a week, coming back from work with his salary in his front pocket, he was robbed. He didn’t even realized that he was robbed until he gets home. People shouldnot demand perfection out of you. Failure is a nature’s way of survival. A drying leaf is not dead until one collects it in to abag. It fertilizest the ground with its death. We can’t live without failure. We can’t grow without it. People cannot shut you down, shame you for long for making a mistake.

2-They kick you on the curb for your honest opinions.

You can’t say your heart when you are with them. They will belittle you when you start speaking what you have on mind and they ignore your mind, your ideas. They bully you out of pure intention of despairing you form further talking. You feel so little or betrayed when you are with them. You live with them for fearing the future that they made for you. They will tell you to leave if you want but you can’t leave because they have made you the lowest form of yourself.

3-They don’t like you when you are soft.

They will tell you to speak up not to help you do but to reflect their failing character on you and show you their superiority.

bully _ grandself4-They draw fear on you.

You are constantly bombarded with insults. They compare you with others, friends, families ,and tell you that you are worse. You are the worst daughter they have. You are one of the stupidest students that the school had. You have no life and no future. you should start looking for jobs at gas station. And you now living that life you are told you would live.

5-They have compulsive character.

They start their day with sadness, compliant or maybe with drinks. They curse they break things and they make you the reason for their failure life.  “Bob, come and see what you did.” You come in and see your pen is on the floor. “Bob come and see what you did!” You come in and see the table cloth is falling. “Bob come and see what you did!” The tv is still on and you don’t know who put it on. They constantly bombard you with their perfection demanding critics.

6-They tell you to do something and you do it.

You have no opinion on the matter and they tell you to shut up and sit tight aggressively or smoothly when you speak on a meeting, against your boss’s opinion. You are out of the game unless you are a ‘yes man’. Your opinion does not matter and your presence is to serve their “superior” ideas. You have no enough payback no matter what your effort is. You are told to do something and you do it. You are in fear of speaking up or do it in your own way, fearing you would be fired.

7-They have been physical on you.

I knew a guy with bruises on his arms. I was wondering what had happened to him looking at his arm under his short sleeves. But didn’t. My imagination escaped and I answered myself he probably hurt himself. He noticed and said.  “My wife is strong”.

I didn’t get it. “What do you mean?”, I smiled?

“When my wife is unhappy, she beats me.” What a confused little guy!  It is love after all he gasped and leave the bathroom. He lives with a bully and he does not know.

You may one day look back and see what made you this way.  We are not created to fail. We can’t fail. After all, we human beings make the hurdles. We can’t fail the huddles made by these who are not better than us, as jobs once said. There is nothing new in this world. If you think it thought it is not you’re stupidly that makes you failure in school. It is probably your upbringing and you had no one to discipline you.

It is not usually your fault for making bad choices in life, it is your lack of knowledge and way of thinking. Don’t let anyone tell you who you are. That is disrespectful. That is outrageous. Don’t fight back. That is the continuation of the bad character. But stand up for once and have time to think what you can do. And do it. You can’t live with a bully and hope they will be angels one day. Just get out, run and don’t look back.

Brook

Brook is the main author and owner of grandself. He started grandself as part of a life project to find his purpose and become influential. The posts are part of his understanding and continuous learning in everyday life. He coach people and give free advice over the internet and phone.

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