purpose dr myles munroe

5 principles of Purpose by dr. Myles Munroe that will help you be successful in life

Have you ever wondered about your purpose? If you are among the lucky few, you have figured it out by now. You didn’t leave your life for the unknown, unplanned. Rather you take actions. Dr. Myles dedicated his life to teaching people to discover their purpose and “die empty.”

He says many people die without discovering their true purpose, without doing anything of value with it. ‘The richest place in the world is not the mines of South Africa’, he says, ‘it is, in fact, the cemetery. Because, it is a place filled with the dead who left with untapped dreams, unwritten books, and unfinished beginnings. ‘

Here, I share five powerful principles of finding your purpose.

 1-Time is too short. The best way to waste time is by not knowing the purpose.

It is logical that if you walk without purpose in this short life, you will end up nobody. It is fair to say one should discover its unique purpose and be entwined with it. 

purpose dr myles munroe2- What matters is why. Why am I here?

The purpose is the original intent for the creation of a thing, that is in the mind of the creator of the thing. Nothing in life is without purpose.

“God does not think without a purpose”

3-Not every purpose is known.

Where purpose is not known abuse is inevitable. Even medical drugs have the addictive drug in them, enough to make you addict if abnormally used. Have no child, if you don’t know the purpose. Don’t buy a car, if you don’t have a purpose for it.

4-If you want to know the purpose of the thing, never ask the thing.

People ask other people to discover the purpose of their life. And Myles says it is wrong. The purpose is only found in the mind of the creator of the thing.  People assume to know how to use the equipment by only knowing the basics. Instead, the manual of the equipment gives the purpose and warnings and procedures of how to use the equipment and warranties. That is the reason why most shoppers don’t read manuals, they assume. This also limits the use of the equipment. He says most people know not more than three keys on how to use many pieces of equipment. Taking the equipment to an unauthorized dealer for a fix, you could get a temporary fix but permanent more damage later. The bible is the manual. And he says one should know the bible to understand the full purpose of the self.

5-Purpose is the key to fulfillment.

Fulfillment is measured by the individual against the purpose they had when they were born. If you know your purpose and walk with it then you will probably end your age with fulfillment.

 7 Secrets of success from Dr. Myles Munroe

Sources: Speech Azusa, 1990 “The power of purpose”

The shortest cut to ruining your 20s is by becoming too obsessed on what is irrelevant to life.

How to ruin your 20s and what to do about it

How to ruin your 20s

The shortest path to ruining your 20s is getting obsessing on what is irrelevant to your future life: the party, the girls, the drama, the things you love: things that do not make a difference in the long term. The real-life starts when you become responsible for something and when you find your purpose that deserves your effort in the long run. And it is then you feel the existence of death, and you get fascinated with the shortness life.

But most 20s is truly a bridge between fantasy and reality.

We see the few ‘celebrities’ in their 20s all over in a media, with their inventions or small actions or music. But the majority is hidden away in front of the TV watching these success stories.

In fact, most people were nothing in their 20s. As I said the 20s is a confusion. In the vague confusion, we run around with an inflated ego. And when the smallest of the pins popped our balloon we stayed there wishing if life would have been better or different.

What is the best thing to do in the 20s?

It depends. Few have figured out their life early. However, the reality is the 20s is a preparation time for the rest of life. You finish college in your first 20s and you are thrown out into the world to figure your place in it. The debt, the consequences of a careless decision, the pressure to make money or to get a woman/man or to build a house. All make you a conscious puppet.

The shortest cut to ruining your 20s is by becoming too obsessed on what is irrelevant to life.

Your efforts become dream-like. You swim in a big ocean wising for the endless horizon.

I have worried much in my 20s. But I write to you not to worry.

Instead, your 20s should be a preparation for what comes in your 30s. You should prepare the base for real life. You shall learn the economic, social and cultural values of life, society, family. You should plan and start to become your dreams.

 

success is the ability to move on.

Three tips that create a successful person : grandself

There are various reasons for success. Time, money, mind, all contribute to your success in life, in the profession. What I share you hare are what I have learned this week.

1-Following up the vision

follow up of the vision with action makes one successful beyond the norm. I had a goal that I had to get to within this week and Monday morning I woke up and wanted to return to my old life. As much as I wanted to do something different for this week, I went back to my old life. By today, I had forgotten the plan until the small piece of paper reminded me. I received the fifth-day workout plan on email and I even didn’t start the first work out yet.

I feel that the young age deceives us with ego and false perception of time where we feel invincible and immortal. The reality is that time is flying and we are getting older. Success,therefore, is equivalent to aggressive follow up of a plan we set.

2-Forgiving yourself

After a rough meeting with a friend, I came back home to think that success is the ability to move on. Without forgiving oneself of any regrets, one cannot become successful. I noticed that the regret that he has is the regret that he had a decade before. We talked on the same regret topic then, and now that his regreat has only grown to be more real.

One reason why many smart people are less successful is due to their tendency to be perfect. Perfection is a gift and a curse. It has the power to halt effort for fear of failure.

As a perfectionist myself, I learned to believe the process, not the outcome of the result. The success of the process teaches us and the success of the outcome only comfort us. And the success of the result depends on how others see it.

We are not perfect beings and we have a power to become better every time.

3-Learn to see the big picture

Success is in the vision. What is the big picture? What is it you want to change in the world and what do you want to be known with? ‘If you don’t have something to die for, then you are not fit to live.’ Learn what is good for you and what you can contribute. Make a big picture of it and work to attain it.

plan

Why we should follow plans and how they makes us successful

Plans

A day before, I was in the zone. I was grooving, noting my ideas and my hypothesis in life. I was sitting in the café with my pen and a small piece of paper that the waitress brought noting plans for the week. This I thought could challenge all the pattern of the life in the week. It was in fact a dream come true. It would have made me more responsible and create a dream life for me that I wished to have whenever I go to bed every night.

And next morning, I wake up in two minds. I wanted to follow the plan and at the same time the other part of mind was fighting to stay on course of the past, using time and look productive. In fact, everything that I would do would not be more than a pretence of the real job. Any way I did it. I went out at 8:30 and had a breakfast, get my car cleaned and went to the office only to research on the business I am developing. I didn’t come up with that much of result. And before much was done I left the office to meet some people. And I spent more than 3 hours on the road. At the end of the day, that was it.

That was it in terms of what I could have done. That makes me think “what is it that makes a difference in life?”

What makes a difference in life?

I am a firm believer that what you think every night is a fantasy of your day and that make you better than the average if not best. Some say that the best time to think is just before you go to bed. It is probably easy to clearly think and with out fear of tomorrow when everything is quitter.  Others this is because the subconscious is awake when the conscious is tired.

Whatever you think to do on the next day, you must do. In fact, most of the things I planned to do on the next day were intense and could meet me with different people. These could help me to solve the mystery of my long time questions.

plan _ grandself

Actions are greater when done in terms of purpose. In design there is a system where one has to follow to end up on result. Some senior designers could escape the process and even create their own. But when you are not senior you should follow the general process and you know you will end up somewhere. The mistake most beginners do is to do things that does not contribute to the greater goal.

You can prepare a mood board but if you don’t have a concrete  reason why you need to do that, you will end up spending more time and without a reason. When you speak with clients, you should know what to ask. Asking about their mother or a small talk does not contribute much.

Your actions in life could be much or more than the average. But if you cannot limit them in to certain “why” then they won’t benefit you. For example, my today’s meeting was a complete loss. I have known they were fine and I arranged some business processes but that would have been greater if I had don’t something that I planned a day before.

What makes a great difference in one’s life is what has been thought over and what complements actions that make a complete picture at the end.

 

habits

The solution to the struggle to change habits  

Struggle to change habits

Habits could be the best things that could define a person. Habits gives one the tools to express one self and to learn skills that would not possible without interest and without payment. But habits sometimes become a set up for failure. Some habits are dangerous.

Many people are wired for failure because of the habits that they live with. Someone used to say to me that addicts promise never to drink again every morning, probably due to the hang over or the position they find themselves in. But every night they find themselves circling around at the neighbourhood in lack of vision and decision.

I recently find myself in same situations. Not about addictions or that matter but in daily life itself. Some of the things, like driving to work, working, lunch time, all are habits formed through out long time. Some of us do that unconsciously. Every evening, I plan never to do the routine since the next day, since i felt it was hurting me in life, and I find myself doing the routine the next morning. I do things that i don’t want and seems that i have no power over it.

Then I discovered why we are not firm with our plans and why we struggle to change habits.

1-Our plans are based on emotions.

Emotions are like, “I am great, I can do it” stuff that is irrelevant to the overall vision. We only do it because of some inspiration we have every time and then. They say everyone wants to become a marathon runner at times of Olympics. Lack of follow through is due to short span emotions that does not fulfil the life purpose and current situations. Don’t plan to never go to some place only because you had disagreement with someone.

Do you know people who get hyper after watching TV show they like or after listening inspiring story? Emotion are good but sometimes destructive. Looking things objectively is often good. One reason for the Struggle to change habits is believing emotions more than reality.

2-We don’t have something else to replace the previous habits.

When you decide never to repeat your tasks, then you should see in detail what to do instead. For the drunk never to drink, they should plan to do something else on that specific time. Why not see friends each day of the week and sleep over there? If you don’t plan on what to do instead, surely the mind picks the best thing to do for the day and you will find yourself on same position you were yesterday.

I once found a guy who hated to see his girlfriend who was abusive to him. And each night he would meet her only to get verbally abused and criticised. He promised never to meet her again for 6 months and he could not do that. That makes a huge mark on their already failed relationship. The more I studied their relationship, the more I felt sad for him. The only advice I gave him was “learn to replace your actions.” Without me understanding what it meant. Weeks later he came back a new man few pounds more and few inches taller. He smiled to me and said “It worked. I started taking this cooking class at 10. And I did that for 20 days already. She obviously didn’t call and I am forgetting her.” Well, that is sad story but a story with lesson to take from.

Replace your bad habits with another good habit rather than running away from it.

3-Prize system

We are taught to do something good using reward and punishment system where when you do “good” you get prized and when you do “bad” you get punished. The system still works for adults whose consciousness is much more progressed. The notion of association is where we do certain tasks and we avoid others even though they are necessary. Well, it is due to these positive and negative associations were the mind regrets, caught in flight or enjoy the process. When you over eat, you feel bad. Why? Because the marketing, the culture, the image of being fat and the bully gives you hard time. Even though, food you ate does not have much, you feel sorry for yourself.

One of reason for the Struggle to change habits is no association of a task with gratification. If life works such way, why not prize yourself for achievement?

Punishment and reward-psychology today

4-Change pattern

This is a technique that I used a while ago to learn new way of life. I was not satisfied with the one I have. It was never the norm but it did not satisfy me. I wanted to change but I could not for long. And one-day accidentally, I listened to my guts and wrote a fiction like character based on my ideal life in a day. I then change where I stay, whom I stay with, where I sleep. I refused to eat where I ate a day before and learnt to wake up at 5 for 30 days. And I did things based on 30 minutes and 1-hour difference. I did this for a month. And guess what? It was hard but my subconscious picked it. And all of a sudden, I found myself waking up at 5, writing for an hour, reading for another hour, exercising and breakfast and leave the house before 7. Going to bed at 10 and close all my laptop and phone at 9. The more I do them in a certain a pattern they become my days.

More: Breaking pattern

One reason for the Struggle to change habits is lack of repetition and accountability. Replace your habits, break your pattern and learn to prize your self for good work.

 

time management techniques

Time management techniques that surely make your successful

Time management techniques

Techniques are a bone of an action. These make decisions and progress tracking easier. Time management techniques are also necessary to make same decisions and follow progress easily.

Here are five-time management techniques with a huge impact on one’s successful use of time.

1-Cutting off communication for a while

Many entrepreneurs and rich people tell the advantage of social media in business. They also tell the benefit of shutting of your mobile phone and your internet for an hour or more while you are working on important tasks.

It’s time to switch off your mobile and set yourself free

4 Reasons To Turn Off Your Phone

Cutting off yourself from the world for a small one hour seems too much to carry and seems unimportant. However, many studies out there suggest the benefit.

Whenever you have an important meeting or work, try shutting off your phone. Even just before going to bed. There is no right task here. It all depends on what is right and what fits you. I would not advise you to shut your phone when you are people person at your job. Your job is to communicate. Without that, try doing that. For example, time management techniques like cutting off communication works when you are on a date, important meetings, family time, reading time, sleeping time.

time management techniques: give break for yourself for few hours.

2-Goals

Goals are overrated. People don’t identify goals from visions. Goals are achievable while visions are fantasy. Being healthy could be a vision but running 10 miles, a week is a goal. The later one is more of measurable. Without the notion of setting specific goals, your efforts are not important. Time management by itself is not achievable without further smaller tasks.  Instead of thinking to save time on a given day, learn to schedule time and make task for each hour. Your goals could be “write 5 pages before lunch, have 3 short meetings with different up to 3:30, a 30 minute for each and respond to email for 30 minutes…”

This makes accountability possible. You will know where you are good and where you lack. Time management techniques by setting goals help you achieve a lot in short time and also celebrates efficiency

time management techniques: Read simple steps to set goals that are effective

3-Be accountable

Accountability is another ambiguous word. You can be accountable for you own judgement. But may lack a lot in other’s eyes. Accountability and vulnerability go together. When you are accountable for any process you are allowing yourself to critics and judgement. That could help you achieve better in your time management effort.

You can be accountable to yourself. But that usually won’t work since it is easy to cheat yourself out of the task. Instead, time management techniques of accountability say advise to tell your loved ones to criticise you on your goals. Your wife or husband could see your progress based on what you promised them at the beginning of the day. Be accountable in front of others, your boss, your partners. Let them not find you playing video games when you should be finishing your paper.

Time management techniques: accountability and vulnerability infront of loved ones

4-promise

Many people won’t keep promises. This is a prime example of less self-respect. People with high integrity keep promises. Their words are reflection of their reputations. They keep legacy based on these principles. When you promise your son to be at his foot ball match, that is your word you can’t cancel. Cancelling important issues for the sake of work is usually not important. most things can be finished later.

But what if you can finish whatever you have now, so that you can freely and peacefully join your sons football match? That is possible. Time management techniques of promise work by being reminded of important events that you promised to and finish what every is doing on time,now. This includes vows on your wedding day. Family deserves to meet you on time. Children should see you on dinner and before bed. Learn your responsibilities and be on time.

time management techniques: keep your promise

5-Be leader of the ship

When people think you have the time, they will treat you as one. You should be able to tell people when it is time to stop gossip and go to work. I remember times that I had to meet 15 people in a day. I used to waste time with gossips and unrelated conversations and waiting time. When i noticed that I was losing a lot by not controlling how I waste my time, I was furious. I was no longer part of time wasting, gossiping or waiting for late people. I become the first to say dismiss meetings.

Control your time. Don’t let no one dictate your power. you can stop even your lover or children from wasting your time. Be in control. Give undivided attention to people that deserve that. And the time other than that, be furious and serious.

Time management techniques: take responsibility. This is your life

When you decide to have a goal, and be accountable to it, you become successful. Learn to be a leader of your short time and keep your promise to be where ever you should be. Cutting few hours from information and focusing on your job makes you successful. time management techniques

Makes you successful when you learn to use then when and where.

THE HOLE BETWEEN OUR DREAMS AND OUR REALITY

The hole between dreams and reality: the reason we are unfulfilled

It was a near death like moment, sitting next to my office desk, contemplating the possibility of how life would have turned out if I hadn’t taken this path. Life was indeed a cruel tester if not a test itself. I sat there in my chair thinking about the other thousands of paths I could have taken but didn’t take. They say at the end you regret what you didn’t do than what you did. But that was not my reality. I wiped my eyes off. I feared if someone runs into the office and seen me weeping like a little child lost in the streets.  

It is in that moment I saw a flash of not a light but a flash of the highlight of my life driven passed my memory in a deep dream-like state. I had no control on it nor did I fight for fearing it would vanish. And I sat there consciously, being reminded of my life in small and slight images.

I was gently reminded of my yesterdays in this world. I stood there as a separated self noticing my existence in the whole. I saw the mere reality of my worry in an identical state of mind soaked with unexpressed emotions.

Unable to speak, I sat there struggling to continue my daydreams after slightly woken up with fear and sweat. And I managed.

Why was I unsatisfied? Why did I want to be someone that I am not? Why didn’t I celebrate my strengths instead? And why did I see the half empty that the half full? Why should the world be fear of tomorrow instead of a space of hope?

I could not think but listen to my thought. ‘You can be rich. That is easy.’ The mind talked in a vague out of this world language. ‘You can. Remember!’, it said trying to reply to its own message. “What if you knock on a million doors asking for money for a dollar?”

“Improbable”, said the conscious, mentioning facts. “You will be tired., who will give you a dollar? People don’t have cash this days”

But at that very moment, it happened. It happened so real that I believed its presence. It is easy. To be a millionaire in a month. Infact it is easy to be what ever we want to be. But it is the conscious that believes what it sees.

‘Look the half full’, commanded the mind that I didn’t know before.

“Wow”, I responded with tears in my eyes. I am the luckiest in this world. I noticed myself for the first time, observing it from the very eyes of that is not myself but of other than myself. ‘People would die to be that being that you are now.’ It echoed. I was there thinking the nuts and bolts of the vague image of the mind.

What did I complain about? Love, marriage, days, morning, another day, social interaction? I am an alien with a human body.

That morning, while sitting at the same chair, consciously cried and prayed. I confessed the thoughts of the mind with the mere words that I could bear.

Then, I was in peace with myself.

I madly promised again and again to live my life in delight as if there is no more tomorrow. I pictured the life I needed and the life I wanted to live.

For the next three days, I was in same ‘trance’ but slightly drifting away from it.

..And few days later, I solved the mystry that stressed me at the time. On that same day, standing at taxi station, I called few people to make sure that the world was same around.

..And few months later except that memory of the flash, I was living on same old life, immersed in the confusion of my dream and the reality of the mind.

life has no meaning

Life has no meaning: 4 ways to make meaning in life

”Life has no meaning.”

That is a great leap for a layman to define the whole in four words. What is life anyways and what is the meaning of it? How do you identify when something has no meaning?

Well that needs some scientific explanation. But that is irrelevant to this article.

I speak in terms of experience, only in terms of the limited understanding that we all acquire, but probably won’t use anyways.

My empirical engagement in life suggests that we make meaning in life as we move through. Our decisions, our actions and our interactions make the smaller images that we individually want to see in the world possibly without a grand comprehension of the big image.

So, how do we make meaning in life in the world that has no meaning.

1-We live to experience and through the experience.

What is life for you? List the things that makes you believe that you have life or the things that makes a meaning in your life. These meanings are probably your experiences. For example, your personal meaning for life could be to make others happy. And making happy involves your love life, your family life or your work life. It is, therefore, all about your experiences and your engagement in the world.

What you do every day makes the meaning in your life. My life meaning and yours is different in shape and form.

A meaning of life for some is dark and dangerous. For others, it is a prison to escape. For some it is all about the short-term happiness no matter the consequences.

I can’t tell you about the experience that you should enjoy. It is in fact true that our life is in congruent with that we call moral or immoral. Live your life in the moral side, without affecting the world negatively.

Life has no meaning; we make meaning through the experience. Live to the fullest of what you can and what you have. Identify things that you want to do based on your experiences and do them.

2-Life has no meaning. Life is living now.

Tomorrow or yesterday are out of our natural control. No matter what quantum physics or others teach, the reality is we don’t know what happens within an hour. The only true control you have is on now. You can continue reading this text or you can escape it. You can shout at the very moment or you can sit still. Or you can do it as long as the conscious agrees.

If now is the time, why not enjoy now?

Enjoy each moment. Refuse to live a second of mediocrity. Say no if it does not fit you no matter the risk.

Recently I had a discussion with a group of stakeholders for some project. In fact, some were smart people from different parts of the world. In the middle of the meeting, I noticed that most of the things discussed were not useful for the project in any way. It was not useful for me or for the project. I had to ask the boss to conclude the meeting and move on with our lives.

I decided not to waste time on something that don’t see fit my limited time.

And this decision doesn’t go without risk. I could lost friendship from some and others probably hated my bold move.

No matter how it turns out live the life you enjoy.

3-Life has no meaning. We make meaning though purpose.

To make a life meaning, always think about your purpose. What is that one thing that bugs you? Do that what makes meaning to your existence.

I believe discovering your purpose could take time. Follow your passion and do that for a year. check if you still want to do that even after a year.

In order to define the meaning of your life, define what you want it to be in 10 years. How do you want to live life, how do you want to be seen what problems you want to solve? If you answer this question. You can define your life. and the meaning comes in the very moment when you live that big picture.

Everyone has one thing that they will be known with. Some are drunk others are inventors. It depends on your dedication to your purpose. You might know record-breaking athletes with good business skills. After 100 years people remember their records, probably not the money they make. Then focus on what you are good at, treat it like your purpose and live that. Life will make a meaning.

Life has no meaning. You’re make your meaning through your purpose.

life has no meaning _grandself

4- life has no meaning. The meaning is individual.

Life is like opinion. You live it as you see it. It is the Individual that makes meaning.

Then how do you make your meaning? How do you define your life at this very moment?

A day in athlete’s life is not on a sofa but your’s could be. It is about the individual meaning and what you are willing to do.

Life has no meaning. You make the meaning through your individual experience. This means your experience makes the meaning and not otherwise.

how to build self confidence_img

How to build confidence: 10 tips build your self confidence fast

how to build self confidence_img

How to build confidence

Confidence is everything in this cruelly competitive world. Confidence is considered as the top must haves in order to be successful in life. Because it is confidence that asks the girl out; it is confidence that pitch ideas to the board; it is confidence that walks among the sheep like a lion. And one who has it has it all.

If confidence is necessary, then, how can I build confidence?

Like other issues, how to build confidence has no clear and distinct formula. All it takes is to do things repetitively until the subconscious picks it. I shared same story years before my 20s. I noticed my less self-confidence hanging around with its own unique mark. I was fearful to walk across group of people and I avoid meeting people on street. The day I decided to change that reality, i went straight into action. I intentionally wear unique cloths and sandals and slowly walk next of group of people. I practived to hold eye contact and give greetings. It was hard at first but guess what I did it. I found myself walking among a lot of people without fear anymore.

Hot to build confidence:Here are 10 things you should practice to build confidence.

1-Know that only you can build your confidence.

Years after life of dependency on parents , most still learn to depend on someone both emotionally and financially. You are the best person, if not the only, to change yourself. Unless you take control the ship, you can’t blame others for the consequence. Just stand up and declare that you are the controller of your destiny and your days even though things don’t look right. This starts with figuring out how to build confidence. You are on the right track.

2-Belief and hope does not cut the grass.

The landscape becomes beautiful with action. You should be able to stand up and do something about our problems. Instead of thinking, planning, you should teach yourself to get in to action as fast. Thinking big is good but even doing small is better. For you to build confidence, you should do what is discussed here. Only reading it for the sake of information without action is useless.

3-Break the pattern.

Before doing any further, learn to break the daily routine in life. Without changing the environment, it is impossible to change self. This is why addicts need treatment. Before any professional help they repeatedly fail to commit to their word. This is because the environment that they are in drags them back. To get a great change you should break your routine.

Use the table below or make yourself one and write things you do every day that makes you lose confidence. On the other column in the table below list when you felt less confidence last time. What were you doing at the time.

Things I do that I am ashamed of(publicly or privately) I felt less confident last time when I did…
 1.  1.
 2.  2.
 3.  3.

After filling the table, you will soon understand how to engineer your days out of the routine. If you are ashamed of being lazy for 8 hours a day while you are supposed to get out there and work, then you should change that habit. It is as simple as that. Don’t over think. Think how your day looks like and aggressively change that. Don’t you like where you live? Then change your living area at least for a month. Are you dependent your mother? Then why don’t you go away from her for a while? This will teach you a lesson. This is the secret of how to build confidence.

4-practice is overlooked.

Confidence is a skill as painting or speaking are. To be confidence you should practice confidence. Imagine things that makes a person confident. And act that way. Gandhi said, “be the change that you want to see in the world.” You don’t grow to be the change, be the change now. Everything starts now. In the middle of your pretentious acts, your deeds become reality. Get up now and stand erect. Throw your shoulders to the back as if they are stretched from the back. open your legs a bit wider when you stand and smile in U shape stretching your lips and showing your tooth. Look yourself in the eyes in the mirror without flinching. Practice these acts again and again both in front of the mirror and in front of others.

5-Stay away from less confidence people.

Bad character is contagious. It is hard to be good staying with good when compared to the opposite. The bible quotes”Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces” (Matthew 7:6). To build confidence, be with confident people. That is the fastest way to how to be confident or how to build confidence.

Do not be deceived: Bad company corrupts good morals. 

1 Corinthians 15:33

6-Remove unrealistic images of self.

Perfect is boring. Believe me I am the most perfectionist people you ever meet. This is reflected with OCD and criticism in my daily life. And obviously pulls others away from your life. Instead of trying to be perfect, learn to progress. It is OK to fail sometimes. Without willingness to fail, you can’t be successful. Afer all they say, “Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.”[quote]

Your frequency of failure brings you closer to success. Learn to become better every day than demanding to be perfect today. Follow a schedule to do things that you listed on number 2 and do them every day, but with objective of continuous progress. If it does not work today, try it tomorrow.

how to build confidence _img

7-Be successful.

Achievement makes one successful and success makes one confident. Confidence without achievement is ignorance or ego. To be confident you shall think as successful person with purpose. It is easier to walk with confidence when you are entitled to something. A sergeant walks with pride than a private.

8 Express yourself.

You don’t owe nothing to the world. It seems those you give the stage to others are loved. The reality is they are soon to be forgotten. They have no value in other’s eyes. They are the less confident entwined with shyness and overthinking. Instead those who act are embraced as self-proclaimed heroes. They save the day with humour and responsibility. If you want to be confident, learn to express yourself. Say your mind at any time. Don’t over analyse, just say it and see the outcome. But be careful to not come across others in a wrong way.

9-Learn to say no.

The less confident sacrifice time and resource on unfulfilling events. Don’t waste a single energy on what does not fulfil your purpose. People usually are like virus, they don’t get enough. They take as long as you can give. Confident people don’t give their power and precious resources away for nothing. And they give it knowing it is valuable, and they expect nothing for it. But they know when and how to give. They also know when to say no for requests. You forget to say no to failed relationship and it becomes so big that you cant get rid of.  You should learn to say no when the time is here. the secret to how to build confidence is to just say no as fast as you can to the things that doesn’t help you grow.

10-know your purpose

How to be confident has direct correlation with purpose. Those who are entwined with purpose, walk with pride. They are not afraid to speak since they think it as the perfect reflection of their urge.

Read more on purpose

How to be confident is a hard question. To be confident, one has to believe self as the only power to change the self. Then be realistic and list things that does not makes you confident. Then practice and break your daily routine with progress thinking.  It is also necessary to be successful and at the same time to say no to things that are not aligned with own purpose. If you keep practising what is listed here, how to build confidence is an easy task.

 

fear-of-success

Fear of success: Signs and tips to solve Fear of success and become successful

We will discuss fear of success and become successful. Fear is a hormone that triggers invention. Running from fear made the weapons. The security systems and strategies for fearing tomorrow are possibly the outcomes of fear. Fear keeps the new born infants live long. Those who don’t fear, run in the woods discovering new land but with greater risk. The rest of the family waits in the cave shivering in fear, waiting for the safe return of the rebellious.

Fear of the unknown leads to fear of possible failure. The unknown holds danger zones. At every corner is a venomous snake waiting to attack a prey. Across the woods, kilometres away, is a focused group of lions, crawling to catch their lunch. The woods could be poisonous, the ground could be a dangerous pit. Everything is dangerous.

When one lives life in fears of the unknown then one fears possible success.

As some authors put it, fear is a great thing. That is what gave us the chance to exist by giving time for our ancestors. But fear in this age is destructive than useful. One should avoid in slum areas with history of gangs. That is useful. Fear of losing money to hackers on the internet is a good thing. A kid avoiding confronting bullies for fearing possible fight has chose better than egoistically fighting and getting hurt. On the other hand, avoiding people fearing that people will judge you is outrageous. Never starting your business fearing that it would end up in bankruptcy is bad.

The worse part of fear is when it becomes fear of success. This is when one fears success itself predicting the possible outcomes and baggage that comes with success. When you are successful, that does not end there. You get attention, you get money, you get responsibility. That is good for the sane.

Three signs that you fear success as your worst enemy.

1-You want to think a lot when you get closer to your goals.

You start off the road pretty good, with enthusiasm. And You hit the road under the hot and cold weather. You endured the cold and the warm weather and you even stayed up all night to achieve your goals. But when you see afar and notice the destination. You hesitate and You unconsciously stop and think. “what is happening there? What is next?” Your brain starts asking you, “then what. What happens after you get there. Whom do you meet?” You forget the goals you had at the beginning of the road and you dig your head down and you mumble trying to find a clear image in your mind.

2-The second sign of Fear of success is procrastinating.

Do you delay projects? Do you delay when you get to the final report or to the point where other see first. Or the point where you think is necessary in the project? People procrastinate for different reasons. They are lazy or they lack discipline. Others procrastinate with fear of success itself.

3- Misinterpretation, fear of responsibility.

You want to marry that girl and you think that is a great thing for you and for her. But you fear of having a child. Or taking the responsibility of the home is high in clouds. Getting a child is a success indeed. You don’t see it as failure. But you still get away from it. This I usually see in the young with no experience. Success in this case looks as failure for them. They get away from it misinterpreting it for failure.

4-Success demands change.

When you are successful, people get around you to feed off your achievement. Your life style soon changes. Your perception, your friends could change. And change is one of the hardest thing for many. Fear of being the spot breaks your success.

fear of success_image

I will give you three ways to think of success to avoid fear of success.

1-Fear is in the mind.

Have you ever had experiences where you were enjoying something until you are told it is dangerous and you develop fear for it? Well i know somebody who did. Many people develop fear due to dangerous events like car crash. And they fear cars for the rest of their lives. Some play with snakes until they are told they are vicious or they work on electric cables and they are told that it had current on it. The develop fear with the event. But only the information is a new and noting changed. Fear is the mind’s way to help body survive. If you allow your mind to fear of the possible outcome, then it will help you survive by letting you ignore the events. Did you get the antidote?

2-Fear of success

Fear of success is no more better than fear of failure as both lead to same designation: failure. If you crumble on your knees for fearing success, then you stay there without any change. It is better to ignore your fear and to become successful than not doing anything.  The world appreciates those who started the journey. You should know that success is beautiful and its responsibilities are worth the living.

3-Learn when to shut down your mind.

Years before, I read about the notion of the third second rule practised in the dating industry. Prior to that I had developed the fear, not fear of failure but fear of success. My fear as a young newbie was “what next? How would I call her after taking her number? What if she is not the one. And all those thoughts. ” But as the same time I fear what if she is the one? when should i marry?” Through time I realised the only thing that is between my vision and my reality was my constant mumbling about fear of success.

The first day I used the law was on a bus where I had to talk to a girl that was slightly coughing not to disturb the passengers. I just looked at her, in terror of success and other social tensions, and said ‘’flu?’’ Exaggerating and looking overly surprised.

She smiled and replied. ‘’Yes. ‘’

‘’Oh, get away from me’’, I pushed her gently, flirting.

The rest took place uncovering their potential in the process. If you teach your mind to avoid self-criticism and criticism of the situation, then it would be fine.

Read the five second rule

4-Believe the process, not the end.

In the middle of stress, one fine afternoon, I found myself panting, overthinking about my future. I soon realised how beautiful life is and how great my life was even throughout my satisfactions and trial to mend what was not broken. It was a revelation. t

If you learn to believe your guts and learn to live today with less worry about tomorrow, that will do the job. Don’t get me wrong. Planning good and criticism is fine. The problem is when it starts to cloud your judgement.

Fear of success is everywhere. People are often surprised when they are told they intentionally avoid success. What would people say, what if the boss does not like me after my position, what if …

You have to realize that without failure, there is no success. If you want to be sure of every corner, then that won’t be as delightful. You will see as boring. It is good to make sure of your safe trip but whining about your flat tire won’t take you there. Go and change the tyre and be on the road. Don’t overthink about your destination. Enjoy the view and be safe.