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Lifestyle meaning of life passion Purpose success

The three layers of success only few know and how to become successful in each

Introduction

” Am I successful? ” is a question in many people’s minds. Many have asked similar questions throughout history.

Who is successful then? Are you successful? Are these tattooed, drug-induced gang musicians on the TV successful? Are these low IQ senior year university students successful for graduating? What is a success after all?

This question bugged my mind for long, since elementary school, for a deep desire to be successful in life. Back then, my passion and dreams were not based in the real world, rather in the ‘perfect’ image of the world in the mind. My tomorrow was obscured with the fight of the existing world and the fancy dream path I wanted to take. When the going got tough, I felt a loser. This was a constant question: ” am I successful, yet? ” You probably also wanted to figure out if you are successful or not.

After finishing reading this article you will never doubt and ask ” am I successful? ” again.

When your read this article I want you to understand that life is about potential. Even though your past matters what count is how you decide to live your future.

So, am I successful?Are you successful?

Think of success as multidimensional concept rather than cause and effect. It has various shape and form and it definitely is not unidimensional. To understand success is to understand something that changes it self every time you see it. Because after all, it is the people that determine success. For the sake of simplicity, let’s define success based on the observer.

So, success has three layers where it is defined or achieved.

The first layer is the wider layer, that is success in the eyes of the general society.

This is how society defines your achievement. Success, after all, is relative. Passing classes or going to school is enough on this layer. Starting a job and feeding a family makes you a success in society. They call you a good citizen of society or something. The people you barely know attend your wedding, they talk about the suit and the makeup and the ceremony with great delight. 

Most people you know, probably 80%,are classified in this group.People in this level of success do what is required: they learn, they get jobs, they marry and have children. They work hard and they don’t go to sleep without food. Unless you are a stoner or drunk, wasting time idle, you are successful. After all, if society thinks you as successful, you are successful.

So, are you successful? If you answered no, leave this post and go to the end of this post to learn how to become successful in this layer, if yes continue reading.

Second layer: the acquaintance layer

This is more critical than the general massei opinion of success. You cannot live a mediocre life at this stage. You get things done and you don’t live to pass through the weekdays.

This layer is more real because your success is determined with people who have direct or indirect authority upon you. Passing from class to class does not impress parents like it impressed the society on the first layer. You should be able to get a grade that could compensate the expenses parents put out on you. Feeding family or being on time at home does not count here. You should be able to give attention to details, practically care for your family.

How many people you know have a beautiful but disfunctional family ? How many graduates you know who passed with struggled to pass through the years?

This layer is a practical, and quality layer.

Only a few people, probably 25%, are successful in this layer.

So are you successful? Is your success quality success? If no, go to the end of this post to learn how to become successful in each layer, how you can make your life a quality life. If yes, continue reading. I will show you another higher layer.

The third layer is the personal layer.

The third layer is for the dreamers. It is for the world changers. It is for those who are obsessed to be unique, to be more than the average. This layer is called the self-layer. Not more than 5% of people you know are in this layer. This layer is not judged based on what the society says or what the close ones want, but with what the self want. Here, achievement is criticized based on purpose and potential.

When you are in this stage of development, you care less for what others value, but you care more about what your dream values. The only thing that makes you happy is achieveing your high standard. Graduation does not overwhelm you because you have higher goal in life. You don’t party all night for a single success of on a project(even if celebrating your success is necessary) because you see life in the bigger vision.

Therefore, this layer is not about the ordinary or the quality, it is about value. Have you heard the saying “seek not to be a person of success but a person of value ” ?

How to become successful _grand self
On how to become successful

If you know on which success layer you are on, it is easy to understand how to improve your situation.

Here, I will show you how to become successful based on your current success status.

To be successful, in the society layers, you don’t necessarily have to work that hard. You only have to cooperate with the norm. Go to school, respect others, finish home work on time, have friends, get a job, have a family: live the norm. That is enough. Quality of life is not that high here. Life is pretty much easy. How to become successful in this layer is by understanding the norm and by living it.

If you are not satisfied the first stage, it is time to grow. In the second layer, you can’t just be a husband, you have to be a lover; you can’t just be a student, you should excel; you can’t be a boss, you should be a leader. You have to buy flowers, you should say ” I love you” . When you can get above c, passing with D does not work here.

People in this layer of success know that they are accountable for their deeds, they learn and put their knowledge in to action.

Remember, life is celebration in the first layer. But it is a work in this layer. Live life to the fullest.

Success in the third layer is harder. You should be able to work harder and smarter. People in this layer live their life purpose.  Life here has no specific worldly measure. The person himself measures the success with his/her own guidelines. For example, a doctor could become a teacher on weekends. An inventor like Steve Wozniak could become an elementary school teacher. This is up to the mind of the actor. This is what makes one to live for someting and leave their mark.

How you become successful in this layer is by finding your purpose , living that purpose and by influencing the world.

Read more: 10 things you should know about purpose.

What do you think? On which layer of success are you in? Comment.

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anxiety change yourself Lifestyle Purpose success

How to let go of the past and create a whole new life

We all have a time and place we had a traumatic experience where we could not anticipate of moving forward. I know a person who failed in front of VCs while presenting his start up and promised never to go public again;  people who failed classes once and fear never to be at school. I know kids who were bullied at school and hate learning for it.

The world is created that way. The media celebrates who succeeds and hates who fails.

People don’t let go the past for three main reasons

1- The past has some horror in it.

I once was emotional in front of a friend telling him how I hate my little perfect looking life. I was terribly worried of the how the future turns out to be thinking of my shaky past. He immediately stopped me and told me that I have two choices in life: to cry about it and stay there for the rest of your life or stand up stop whining and create a new life.

I have passed most of life trying to please my high standard mind. And I had to get the perfect thing out of my work, which is sometimes impossible. My days of thinking about perfection created horror in the closet, which made me fear of going in to them.

2- The past has failure in it.

Most people don’t start because of fear. Fear of failure. Failure has two faces: psychological and emotional. The psychological one is more of in the mind. This happens on people who have a permanent mark on their mind because of abuse, accident. The emotional is the general fear of something. When people do they fear of what people say about them. It is amazing in this age people who don’t do are comfortable and people who do worry about what others would think. Opposing, the saying a wet person does not fear the rain, most cling to the past as a bench mark or their future.

3- The past took their energy.

There are energy intensive people, events. There are horror spouses, there are energy taking works. If you find yourself abused and sacrificing your time and yourself in to helping other without helping yourself it possible you would fear the future. Someone was telling me how he could not have a girlfriend because 6 years because his girlfriend of 2 years betrayed him and left him for someone else. He was not only sad because of losing her but he thought he does not have the energy anymore to have a new girlfriend.

4- There are constant reminders of the past in your area.

If you break up with your boyfriend in your current apartment, and you have been depressed in it for months, then it is possible that the room is killing you. Our mind works in association. Sometimes it associate events with places that has no direct relevance with.

5- The past is comfortable.

This is the opposite. When a kid stays for 40 years in his parents’ house, this could be a sign of comfort, if not a sign of being loser. I remember when an elder person tells a mother to not give dinner for their 30 years old child who happens to live with her. He thought this would push him out to have his own life. When your past is comfortable in your head and when you can’t change, this is the time to change.

6- You fear the unknown.

I don’t know why we fear the future. In fact, most smart people do fear the future. Life is to be lived with trial and errors, except on life and death issues. We fear whether if she is the one, whether the job we have is the right one, whether to change our location or not.

I have always wanted to mould out of the scale of the world that holds me back. I have classified my life in to smaller bits to see if I could see any gaps of light that could explode the whole thing and put me in a new universe. Change is not easy as it was as a child.  We knew we were changing when we pass from class to class when we grow public hair when we change shoe size…

But after we grow life seems to go blind, slow, killing us away. I have figured out three ways to how to let go of the past and build the future.

1-The past is issue only for over thinkers.

Over thinkers make something, but after washing the lovely part of their life. Overthinking is the new way to down. Over thinkers are procrastinators. They don’t start something until it is perfect. If you are dreaming the future by basing your data on your past failure, you mightn’t go further. This takes us to point two.

2-The past is a lesson.

If you have failed in the past, you are one step ahead from the rest. You have tested one way that will lead to failure. This is what Edison said at the end of thousands of similar experiments. You should find a way to learn from your past. Don’t run from them. Face them. Sit tight and write the. And figure out where the fault lies. And practice not to do them again. How to let go of the past starts by believing the past is just a lesson.

3- When you fail people will laugh.

This is wrong. How many times have you laughed when someone else failed. If you’re like the immature gigs on the internet then you have done it for a while. But is you being that decent guy with a passion for life then you probably pity them. Life is full of failure, ups and down. Your failure is a news for others, it is additional marketing. What if Elon Musk fails in his space x venture. The media would talk about him for a week or two then what? Then his failure is forgotten. Everyone will be waiting what he would do next. The world is on his side because he tried and failed. How to let go of the past starts from believing that people are not bothered with you failure but with your success.

4-Get rid of the reminders.

If you still hung your ex-husbands picture in them idle of the living room, then you are living in the past. If you can’t get rid of the car you had accident with and you developed fear of driving, get rid of that car. How to let go of the past starts with starting fresh. If you have loser friends who live in the past and remind you of your past cut them out. Start fresh.

Then do the following actions.

1-decide to change. Decision is hard to follow.

2-change where you stay.

Go to people like you who need change. Share your life. Share your story. Promise to change.

3-Destroy everything that pulls you back.

Change your house if you have to. Change you style and even your friends.

4-Write or record your journey and share it to the world, not all of them.

Write everything that you learnt on How to let go of the past . Note your challenges and how you solved them or even your emotions. This will give you a reference to your progress.

5-life is a progress.

Believe me you can’t throw all the garbage away with in a day or two or even a year. But through your grinding, you will find yourself being a changed person. Good luck with your present and future. How to let go of the past and create a whole new life continuous with believing that you can become better in time. And past doesn’t define who you are.