3 things unconsciously discourage man from being independent.

The discouragement being a man by society

Being a man is usually discouraged with unintentional and unconscious gesture of the society that deflects away man’s prime instinct in to doubt.

How do you cope up with the cultural boundary that forces you to live inside the fence when the world is outside? And when you wink out through the holes in the fence you see the low class living the life no matter what.

3  things  unconsciously discourage man from being independent.

1-      The cost of living.

This is the cliché of the democratic world where capitalism is widely appreciated and even celebrated. The young is left aside for the wild to figure it out by working in the stinky kitchens of Mc Donands for few dollars an hours. This barley satisfies the appetite of the young age where cost double and income stays consistent. Man prefers to stay at home.

2-      The love of mothers

recently someone told me the prime factor for his marriage was the death of his mother. He no more could not bear to live single with his other 4 brothers who were all over the place and having fun. He decided to get married and within few months, guess what, he was married man. One of the reasons, other than finding a mature person that replaces his mother, that man don’t be a man is his mother made him immature with her unreasonable affection.

3-      Lack of real responsibilities

society fluctuates and forgets the youth form giving a formal responsibility like our ancestors have. If you noticed the culture of some preserved cultures, almost all have steps and initiations that he youth should pass through. In this age a man can marry at 30 or 50. It is up to him, no matter what the reason is. A specific goal is better

being a man _ grand selfSo, what Is the best way to be a man, responsible for both gender.

1-      Learn your strength.

Your strength makes your purpose. And what you do all your day, your habit makes your purpose. If you know what makes you stronger, then that was is easy to win. Be more on than d learn to solve your weakness with it.

2-      Separate from your mother.  

As long as the mother is around, you are dependent. The society learnt to judge a man based on his separation from his mother. In fact, animals have the tendency to push the young away, especially the male, to force it in to creating its own family. The lion chases off its young when food is not enough. The young lions should go out and find and make a family.

3-      Take responsibility

For a man to be one, write a book, make a family or travel. That is the wise advice of Greek philosopher? Do something worthwhile that goes with your interest.                

 

Time management

Importance of time management: why you need to worry about wasting time

Importance of time management

Time management is the basis for a successful life. Without time management our work is futile like sculpture without a meaning behind. The main factor that creates a trajectory for success is how one uses time, therefore, efficiency and quality of work, in a limited time. The importance of time management is not limited to production or discipline in the work environment.

Here are five reasons why you don’t need to waste time.

1-Time is a fixed asset.

When you are dealing with a load of work with various inputs and workforce, what you have as a tool is your limited time. Our schools and workplaces are competition grounds and time favors the one that respects it. When you deal against the fixed asset, then, your time management skill will tell the result of your efforts.

importance of time management: Use the limited time to your advantage

2-Time does not stop and wait.

Cliché, I know. But that is true. Time is like a river, it flows away. You can contain its footprint in to a well but you can’t freeze it in a moment to manipulate it for own advantage. What you can do is to figure your limited opportunity and to make the best out of it.

I have always wanted to know if I am doing things as per my potential in a given time. Because if I can accomplish a something in 10 years that I could have done it in 20. what if I do it in 5? I could live the rest in boredom or I could go and accomplish better in the rest day of my days. Both are not bad.

Or see it this way. You are not as energetic in your 30s like you were in 20s or younger. Time is giving you a less energy, older body, and you can’t re-live the past.

importance of time management: time passes and you pass, avoid regret by using it.

3-Efficiency

Efficiently is a reason for success. Efficient companies are profitable. When your plan your time, you will become aware of what you have to do and what you have done. You will better manage your time and you will do more in short time.

Smart students have schedules that they use for their day. They know when to play and when to work.

importance of time management: it will make you efficient.

4-Save energy.

They say if you don’t have a plan, you will live in other’s plan. If you don’t have time management skill then you find yourself wobbling around without an achievement. That is an easy ground for lazy and unsuccessful people around you. They will use your excuse and cling on you and live off of you until you become numb and despaired.

Time management helps you save yourself from exhaustion of excess work and energy takin persons.

importance of time management: it helps you save your energy

5-Success

Time is directly related to success. Without time your achievement is nothing. When you are aware of you time, you are on the way to success. Procrastination is one of the reasons for failure in most people’s life. your time management skill will determine on what you can accomplish and be seen as success.

importance of time management: you can become successful

 

time-management-tips

7 simple but effective time management tips that you can apply today

Time management tips

 

The only common resource most people have is time and yet it is so short and unrepeatable. Once wasted, one cannot reclaim but only has to work to compensate. You might have noticed that some people have the skill of using their time effectively and they are successful. You are probably reading time management tips because you have the problem of managing your time. Just like other skills such as speaking, efficiency and management, time management is also a skill. And a skill should be applied to be effective. Then when you read the time management tips , you should know that you should practice them at least for the next 30 days for them to become habit.

Here are 7-time management tips that you can use for success today.

1-Limit your companions

This is cruel advice. But that is true. Some say “a person with many friends has a dilute wine.” When you have too many people in your daily life, it is sure you don’t have time for your self and for your goals. If you want to change your life and become successful, you should become more experience. You should not waste time on gossip, drinks and too much socializing that do not benefit your purpose. The first-time management tip is to limit then number of people you meet in a day.  Unless you are a sales person or a speaker or other professional that demands meeting people, you should focus on your work and yourself.

Task: chose quality than quantity in your social life. Your success will attract lots of people.

2-Plan in advance.

When do you decide or plan what to do for the day? If you do that in the middle of the work, you are not as effective as you could be. You should plan before starting your entire job. It is even better if you do it before going into the office or school. And make sure you write it. For example, you might say. “I will finish the report in two hours and I will meet John for review.” This makes you responsible and you can learn about your efficiently along the way.

time management tips _ grand self3-Remove Destruction

Social media, is not used wisely, is a destruction. If your internet do not allow you to focus, shut it off. TV, games and technology are also some of enemies of time management. One of the tie management tips that could help you much is decision. If you are not good at decision and follow through, forget about time. It won’t work.

You should decide to not use any of these technologies including your phone while you are working. You can switch off your phone or disconnect your cable for an hour or two until you accomplish your goals.

More reads : Is Social Media a Waste of Time?

Daily time spent on social networks rises to over 2 hours (Infographics)

4- Have detailed goals.

General plans are good but without goals they are not effective. Instead of saying I will finish report within three days, you could possibly say, I will finish the introduction in 4 hours, then first chapter in 5 hours….

This could give you a space and accountability for your efforts. Time management tips number four is not only to plan ahead but also to think in details of what to accomplish.

5-Start at the end of the day.

Do you know most people start working on project or job, when deadline approaches? Whether you give them a week or a month, it is all same, they will start at the deadlines. In fact, it is more effective not to work for a month on a task that you can accomplish in days. Some people are more efficient before hours before leaving their office. The fifth time management tips is to choose a good time for you that you are effective with and use that as a leverage.

6-Be accountable

Why don’t you tell your boss that you will finish the working 2 hours? Guess what happens, you will have to finish in 2 hours. Don’t take too much risk or don’t over promise. But ask loved ones to help you in the process.

7-Practice to focus.

Being focused is one of the hardest things that the mind has to bear. But you can practice it as any other skill. Learn to focus on your work without destruction. Focus you mind and recollect your mind when it wanders away. Practice that for days. You will see the result.

I gave you 7 time management tips that are simple but effective. For you to save time and be successful, you should plan ahead, have goals and work on your goals. And learn to focus by avoiding destruction. Be accountable and improve on your skills along the way. You will notice fast change in your life.

 

self esteem issues

The guide to understand and solve self-esteem issues

What are self-esteem issues

Besides our pretentious social rituals, most of us fight with self-esteem issues. The story is everywhere. It is in our neighbourhood, it is in our city. The father who struggles to cop up with the son’s masculinity; the husband who have self-esteem issues in bed with his wife; A girl friend who have self-esteem issues figuring out whether he is the one; a girl who has self-esteem issues with her body size and image.

The self-esteem issues are everywhere; we all have them. We are conscious of self and we tend to criticise a lot of our self. We don’t like out circular face; we hate how that dress fits us. We are not sure of how the other guy takes out speech of the night. This is a self-esteem war. It is between the mind and the body. It is between the conscious and the world. It is a war of the unseen : it is the war of the mind.

self-esteem issues

The source of self-esteem issues

It is said the population is getting less with less self-esteem especially after world war 2, after the distribution of the media. The world knew what is trend, what is hip and what is good and what is bad. The beauty of the actress in the black and white screen mattered not only for the women but also for the men. The women still compere themselves with the beauty of the screen under the make ups. The men compere their women with the screen and doubt their choice. The measure of beauty became confused with the ideal and the creation of the mind. You see the better beauty made with plastic. The perfect models with Botox and inflated chests became the wish of the teen. ”When I grow up I need to be a woman with these breasts.” That is the voice of the generation.

The new advertisements create a Utopian world with confused message. The hair lotion is advertised with long haired women form east Europe who have never seen the product minutes before the shoot. As the ‘norm is boring’, exaggeration is the reality of the TV. Nothing is real. But this creates self-esteem issues with in the youth and even the adult.

If you grow up watching these shows and movies, you start doubting yourself. The perfect images will haunt you. You judge the girls you meet with the actresses. You love Halley berry skin colour and your white girl friend should look tanned like her. His eyes should look like tom cruise.

I recently met this girl who was attracted to me. We went out for a day or two and I was attracted to her as well before I figured out her self-esteem issues. Under the confident demeanour and her pretty look she was broken. She talks about relationship but only to fulfil her broken heart; talks of future life but from money side only ; needs her guy to have a big house and great cars. and take care of her. She was absent in the mind and she is living somewhere else, daydreaming. She is living like 18 when she is 28.

I judged her in my mind, noticing her flaws once I got closer to her. I was willing to let everything go to accept her. But self-esteem issues were everywhere creating hurdles on the way. Her body, her age, her wish and the reality created a new persona in her. She pretends to live when she is supposed to live.

How to know you have self-esteem issues

You know you have self-esteem issues when your reality and your thought gets confused. You need to go to the party but you have the issue with your looks and you spent 65 hours choosing dress, you lip gloss and your out fits. But seconds before your lift arrives, you stand in front of the mirror thinking “why am I so fat?”

Your lack of competence in life makes you a bully but you even don’t notice it. You make the smart ones suffer and you keep doing it because it gave you a sense of purpose.

Your outcast persona made you a victim. To escape the reality, you spent the day watching TV and listening to music. You don’t want your mind to be on the present since it is so critical and it depresses you. You want to escape your stress but it gets more when you think about it.

You can’t pass in front of others without getting nervous. You don’t answer questions and you don’t engage in meeting forfearing what other will say. You sit at the corner and watch when these less IQ people arguing without a point. You have a better idea but you can’t say it.

You have to go to your child’s theatre class but you have a job to do. You at least created one. You don’t to be in front of these parents who are judgemental.

This is a reality. Many people have these self-esteem issues.

How to solve self-esteem issues

The scientists classify fear and self-esteem issues as a consequence. These are the result of two areas of life: the psychological or lack of knowledge. For example, 78 percent of Australians has fear of driving.

When you want to go on a date and you notice you have self-esteem issues, it might be due to psychological part of you that is you might have traumatic experience or you have noticed somebody get shut down; you have developed a fear for intimacy or your source of comparison are your parents broken marriage.

On the other hand, you might have noticed the self-esteem issues because of lack of knowledge. You don’t know what to do next. You don’t have clue of what the girl needs or even what every woman needs.

On the first case, treating psychological case is harder. If you think your problem is psychological, consult physician. That is the shortest cut to solution. If not try to build up your confidence from the way up. Re-imagine yourself in a different way. Break your daily pattern, change the place you live in. Pick a new habit and a new friend.

If your problem is in the second one, then all we have passed in it. This is lack of information. You just have to realize you have less knowledge in the matter and get ready to gain more knowledge. Read books, watch movies, meet people, go on the field and try. After a failure is experience.

In my opinion, you should be able to create a new lifestyle that does not engage these pseudo looks and fake models in it. See people for what they are not for what they look like. Don’t be wrong here, don’t stop judging people. Discriminate one. It is only though this you can become better. But don’t judge people based on how tall they are or with their accent.

Six points to over come low self esteem 

On the other hand, stop comparing yourself with others. Don’t have ideal references that you can’t attain, although that could be good at times. Be true to yourself. Love yourself for who you are. If you have bleached skin, then darken it or love it. If you are created one legged, what can you do, you can’t make another foot. Then love that. Share that story. Forget others and their irrelevant opinions.

People spend time worrying about how people think of them. I had worried of failing for fearing how people would see me for it. I spent times thinking that instead of worrying about what i would lose through failing.

I recently watched a video on you tube where group of people are interviewed on what they think about themselves and on the other room others are asked about what they think of the person being interviewed.

The results were surprising. All of them had some critics when they talk about themselves. “This chin”, said the tall Asian guy. “I don’t like my body size” said the Caucasian girl with great smiles. This is the best part. The people on the other side said everything good aboput others. “His smile is good with that chick”, said the black girl. “He is tall” the other said. When the result was disclosed , everyone was surprised.

We tend to be hard on our self than on others. We accept others with ease but we don’t like our long nose or big eyes. That create self-esteem issues. Gary Veynerchuk talk about “finished product” were people compare themselves with the perfect image of others. A young basketball player can’t quit thinking he is can’t jump like Jordan. Because Jordan for him should his a goal not a discouragement.  Second, as the world is pretentious, what you see on others is the surface. That is majorly not real. What you know about your problems is usually real.  How can you compare yourself with others on that basis? That is unfair.

self-esteem issues raised from comparing oneself with others and with the abstract ambitions. To gain self-confidence again, you should start to be real to yourself. Respect your opinions, and never worry about what other say about you. Become the actor or the actress yourself. Set a standard. And live the life you want. Then your self-esteem issues will burn out instead.

7 simple but powerful steps to improve self confidence

how to change

How to change your life in 3 months

Change is a bogus word. It is weird;complicated and out of this world. People won’t prefer to change unless it hits home. Because life in the box is safe. It is more comfortable  than the more beautiful out of the walls of the box. How to change is still a question in many people’s mind.

People want to change but they usually don’t. They promise to change but they find themselves in same spiral downward. Others decide to change habits and attitudes only when it is too late. A smoker quits when he loses his lungs; a woman divorces when she loses her moral to make family again; a student starts studying when they fail. This happens every day around us.

The problem is the wiring of the mind.

1-The over protective mind.

The mind has the responsibility to keep us safe by analysing the possible way out. When you hesitate for a second, the mind takes it as a sign of danger, and danger is to be avoided. When you want to change, you think of the possible dark corners of the path and you hesitate and the mind shuts down like a fearful dog. You can’t move forward with the deep confused thought in the brain. You are worried all of a sudden. The worry becomes stress and the stress becomes depression. This is the way the mind stops possible dangers out there.

Second, changes need energy.

And energy is what our body has in scarce. The body should conserve as much energy to survive. To do that, it should rest not work. A lion sleeps 20 hours a day.

The mind possibly must hate change since, one, it exposes you to possible risk and, two, it takes a lot of energy.

How to change, the three ways

1-Never listen to your mind.

Your mind is like a protective dog, it barks even in the presence of the loved ones. It does not mean the loved ones are there to attack you. It is the way it is wired and trained. To change, it takes to show possible ways of change for the mind. When you fear, you should tell yourself that it is OK to fear but it is not the place to fear. The mind also wobbles. It is like a tread of cloths, it is everywhere and in everything.

how to changeIf you believe your thoughts, you are doomed. Your thoughts are dependent on the occasion. When the day is bored, it is the mind that is bored. You might be sick or tired. The day is same. You might ask why you wanted to do something in the morning and you are bored of it now or hours later. That is the minds was of inspiration. It does not mean you want to do it or you don’t. Then how to change is answered as to change don’t relay much on your mind, rather think of the reason to change. Think whether it is necessary or not to change.

2-Think of what to change and how to change just before you go to sleep.

Moments before  going to bed is a good time to plan the next day. Some claim that a subconscious mind, that is the powerful but passive part of mind, makes decision when the conscious mind, that is responsible for our day to day function, is asleep. So, when you are in half sleep mode, your subconscious starts functioning. This is why hypnosis is done is a sleepy mode. The subconscious mind, although it is the silent part of the mind knows what is necessary for the mind without biased of the wobbling conscious.

In this state, the mind is going to rest, that is in congruent with the need of the mind itself. Then the mind will give out opinions without bias. You should plan your day in this time and plan of tomorrow. Since we fear the reality we tend to snap our mind out of the reality or the present. This includes using phone, talking or music, Allen watts claim that these habits are way of getting out of the reality.

Here you should stop distracting the mind and start thinking. Write your thoughts if you can. And write what the mind tells you should change.

The best way to change is to break patterns. Stop reading and think how you pass your day every day. If you are average joe. You go to work, you sit in front of desk for 8 hours. In the middle, you go out for coffee or bathroom. In lunch time, you gather with similar friends to talk about the weather or wife or the girl that you saw in the morning.

This is the biography of most people. Most people don’t have something to tell at the end.

First, you should know change takes at least 21 days.

Most of you despair without even trying. 15 days is not enough. I believe the computer age affected as in to fast forward, short videos, precise information and more. The only thing that does not change is discipline and hard work without these it is still impossible to produce useful things. You should stick to what you want for at least 21 days to see a change.

Then learn to break the daily patterns of your life.

How to change becomes concrete in this step. If you are compulsive drinker, don’t fight to stop drinking. What you should have to do is to dig deep and make association. Think where you drink, with whom you drink, what time, who initiates, who pays, how much you spent per month. To break the pattern, start from the source. If you have peer pressure, stop meeting these people. If you drink yourself, find out what leads you to do that, depression or hopelessness. Find out why. or just join rehab. They will tell you what to do.

If you want to change a problem in your sexual life. Think what makes you low energy. What part you want to change. Then break it. If you watch Adult movies, throw them away. Keep it that way for 21 days. If you don’t speak with you wife a lot, do that to night. Cook with her, sit her down without being creepy, since it is new habit for her, and ask her how her day was. If you don’t like how your cloth, then find cloths that you like purchase then and clear then as you wish.

The secret is to start with one step and make thousands along the way. Breaking a pattern is all about finding the things you do that gets you away from success and break then and replace them with new habit.

If you think about it, how to change is easy. To change with in only 3 months, first you should learn not to relay your decisions on the wobbling mind. Then think of what you want to change and how to change just before you go to sleep. This is the best time for you to think silently, clearly and deeply. Then refer what you note on this day and do them on the following day.

Learn to break the pattern that you boxed the mind is. To change, you should change your living environment, your habits. You should teach your mind that things are new now. You can’t no more sit on the computer for hours now. Even if you don’t like it, you can’t open your PC, so put it away locked to remind yourself not to use them. Instead go and visit people, stay in park, following your schedules.

Do that for at least for 21 days. Then you shall see the change in effect as soon.

What do you think. Comment below.

what do I want to do with my life_image

what do I want to do with my life? figuring out what to do with your life

what do I want to do with my life? figuring out what to do with your life is not that hard. Your are probably here to figure out what to do with your life. you could be confused. there are many people like that who keeps asking what do i wan to do with my life? This happens at every age, not only at young age. Sometimes you become what you want to be and all is set and you have no more to do. or you have even never tried yet.

what do I want to do with my life_imagesometime life becomes too demanding and overwhelming for many. That is alright. There is a lot going on in the world. It is normal to feel lost and to ask what do I want to do with my life, especially if you don’t have a proper coach or guide.

Here i will show you three main ways to answer the question “what do I want to do with my life?” and i will help in the process of figuring out what to do with your life.

What if some magic or miracle happens and someone asks you “what have you done with your life?” Stop reading and think 3 things you have done with your life. If you can count three and if you believe these things are aligned with your purpose and if you are happy, then you are on to something.Read no more.

But if you are like most people , you are stuck on the first list. You even don’t believe what you did was useful. “I got your degree but so what?; My pretty face doesn’t do nothing for me…” This is what many people i meet say to  me.

Most say “I want to be someone great, known , a celebrity.” But they don’t know how and doing what.  The problem is most people out there want to be something but they can’t say what it is. They want to marry but they can’t say what type person. They say they have a plan but they have done nothing the last few years.

The world is full of people who does not know what they need. They only hope tomorrow and curse today.

The first short cut to becoming do something fast is to think in details. To figure out to what niche to stick to. There is a small book that talks about changing life by changing the general perception of life.(i don’t remember the title, it has been more than a decade since I read it) In one of the chapters the author talks about a story of  a woman he met on his workshop. She told him she wanted to be an author for all of her life but she could not start.

Then he noticed the problem and he continued asking, “what kind of author?”

She paused. “What do you mean?”

“What type? Comedy, children, horror, romantic story…”

It was all of a sudden clear for her. the answer was all in front of her all her life. what she had to do was to think smaller.  And one simple question gave her few books with in a year time.

I believe that one has to think in little details. Details matter much in life since the world is going for specialisation. Specialisation is efficient way of solving a challenge, no matter how it confines one in to a corner. One can become laser focused into being one thing and strive to be good in it.  Many known authors specialise in one genre. Musicians also do that.

Instead of being an author, think what kind of author you want to be. If you want to become entrepreneur then what type. Online, offline, what do you want to sell.

This leads you to the second step. Here you need to identify your strength. If you can’t sit long hours, don’t try to be a programmer. If you can’t speak don’t be journalist, although possible. It is similar to believing your DNA. (term borrowed from Gary vaynerchuk)What you are good at since birth. if you can write, then learn what to be in relation to the first step.

Read an article on Entrepreneurial DNA. Do you have it? 

Third, just list as much as you can things that you can do in the three columns. Ask your self  “what do I want to do with my life?”

Things I enjoy and cant get enough as a hobby Things i have learn Things I already know
1-Fashion 1-Fixing my car 1-I have degree in     economics
2- 2-real estate

After than come back after few hours and revisit your list. Cancel out these you really cant do now . This could be due to time constraint or resource, money or even passion. Then come up with three on the top. Next is to go back to the first tip, that is to go in details. Instead of saying i want to write about fashion, say i write about a specific brand or specific out fit. Do that for one year. And improve along the way.

what do i want to do with my life is a common question among many. I gave you the three short cuts to figure out what to do with your life. What you have to do what you have chosen after reading this article without hesitation. Then your will be fine.

Please share your experiences in the comment section. If you want to talk to us in private please write us here.

hope-for-tomorrow-images-grandself

What am I waiting for? Why we blindly wait with hope for tomorrow

The world is a by-product of waiting and hope. We hope for tomorrow with nothing to show on today. We are taught to wait.  One of the serious problems that tomorrow holds is its unknown factor. As  Lincon once said the best way to predict the future is to make it. It is in fact harder to sit and wait for a chance than to stand up and change the future.

One of the problems of the modern-day school is it teaches you a master- worker process from an early age. Even after school, we are conditioned to expect someone to tell us what and when, and, moreover, we are hungry for approval. We dream for a teacher with a smile and a warm welcome to applause us and tell us we did well. Like we raise our hands to speak or to visit the bathroom, we now look for permission.

We urge someone to tell us whether to marry that girl we have been dating for more than a year. Therefore; we stand and hesitate, “is she even the one?” Our mind needs someone to guide us which path to take next. Then we tend to avoid heavy thought. We start to act reckless, do whatever comes to mind and whatever comes along and we wait for tomorrow for no avail.

Here are 4 reasons why we wait for tomorrow, the unknown.

1-Fear.

Fear is the primary factor for success and failure of life. It is fear that governs the world. And through the rear, the powerful manipulate the rest. We have fear of losing our homes, we have to lose from our family member, we have a fear of losing our husbands and wive. our life is full of fear. The environment itself has the mechanism to control us with its systems. The mortgage, the school fees, the fast-changing life… This all makes us numb from an early age. Only those who have examples before them and those who have the fortune to go on will succeed faster in life, at least it seems. Out of fear we freeze and wait for tomorrow to magically intervene and save us.

hope for tomorrow_image

2-Waiting for someone to tell us what to do.

As age progresses maybe realize than they have been waiting for something, a father or mother figure to tell them what to do. Our parents, like the school system, have fed us, read us stories at the bedside, they lull us when we cry and the buy us everything we need. “Don’t cry?” they say, weeping our tears.

They cared for us and we barely learned to be strong alone. For this we dare break laws and we wait for parents to save us, and they usually did, even lying. And growing up, without any physical and psychological challenges, we tend to be children forever secretly waiting to grow with hope for tomorrow.

3-Religion “hope”, the bible says.

Hope, the book defines it as believing of the unknown without seeing the impact today. Hope is good in itself. Because it is what that extends many people’s lives in this chaos detested world. But when hope becomes a personal cult and excuse that is the greater challenges. The bible itself says belief without work is nothing. You should work. Those apostles and followers themselves have worked to feed themselves. People like Paul have sewed tents to make money. Religion doesn’t ask you to sit and hope for tomorrow.

What you have to do it to have a purpose in life. propose it necessary. Many people who suffer from this syndrome are those aimless people. Then have goals and schedules of doing them. If you have done nothing until now, it is probable that you won’t do much in the future, unless you change. Then you should realize that unless you are the luckiest guy in the world, you won’t become day or even one day. That is fantasy. Think about what you want to be and work to get that. And accept whatever chance that comes along. The rest is fantasy. The rest is hoping for tomorrow to make miracles.

4-Hesitation

Hesitation is a mind’s way of avoiding possible risk. It’s good then since it helped ancestors avoiding acting for fearing the sound they heard in the woods. Hesitation in this age is a liability. It kills. It is nothing more than a sign for the lazy. If you hesitate you are likely to lose. This is the principle.

Minutes before I was asked to speak on a conference on the result of my two-month life project that also created this blog.   I hesitated for a moment. “Can I speak? Am I the best here to talk? What if there are others with better experience? What would the rest think what if I fail…”  Even if I know I could do it, I hesitated. “Maybe other time”, I said, ignoring the request.

The syndrome of modern education is it makes the smart hesitates. If you have noticed it is smart that hesitates a lot. “Wait”, the mind says. What is there is a better way to do it and what if someone else could do it better and what if they don’t like it?

What if.

One can kill hesitation by learning that there is no perfect timing or perfect fit for many things. The best time is now. Don’t hesitate.

Hope for tomorrow but don’t sit and wait for it.

hesitate _ grandself

Killing hesitation. Why don’t have to hesitate and it is time to do great

hesitate _ grandselfHesitation is a mind’s way of avoiding possible risk. It’s good then since it helped ancestors avoiding acting for fearing the sound they heard in the woods. Hesitation in this age is a liability. It kills. It is nothing more than a sign for the lazy. If you hesitate you are likely to lose. This is the principle.

The syndrome of the modern education is it makes the smart hesitators. If you have noticed it is the smarter that hesitates a lot. “Wait” the mind says. ” Is there is a better way to do it? What if someone else could do it better what if they don’t like it? ”

The whole idea of this article came today when I was asked to speak on an event. Someone asked me to book me on the schedule to speak on a conference. I hesitated for a moment. “Can I speak? Am I the best here to talk? What if there are others with better speech? What would the rest think what if I fail…” These are the unconscious cries of my mind? I know deep inside the heart I have the resource and the capability to do it. But I hesitate.

The one thing you have to think is life is a progress.

If the secret of life is really to grow, then growth is life time job. You can’t grow with in a year or two. It is continuous and life time. You do what you can do perfectly. Don’t worry what you could have done or how perfect you can do something. For example If I save to give speech the best time is now since there is no maxim of best time for it.

I believe one has to learn to respect the process than the end. The end could come out as anyway. What mater is enjoying the process and sharing it.

One can kill hesitation by learning that there is no perfect timing or perfect fit for many things.

What there is a prepared mind and body. If you’re prepared to do something and if you truly believe that it benefits others then do it. Don’t hesitate.

If you think it the best time to start your business, don’t hesitate. Find people who can help you and start. If you think you should be able to start a job, then stand up now and do it. Never hesitate. If you want to ask that girl out and if you think you should give it a try then do that. Don’t even think more. Just go and do it like a crazy person. As long as you don’t hurt others and yourself it is fine. I believe you can give a break your hesitating mind by taking responsibilities. Do things responsibly. Take calculated risks. Just do it. Never think twice. Never hesitate.

 

 

 

 

Finding your purpose _image

Finding your purpose : A short guide on finding your purpose for success

Finding your purpose is a tough task. Finding your purpose is a life time job. There is no ultimate answer for what your purpose is. Because the idea of purpose grows with age and a maturity. Finding your purpose is indeed a person responsibility. People usually wait for eternal involvement for finding their purpose. We might have encountered people who are lost and pass their days on a couch, thinking what their purpose before birth is.

Others struggle through paying thousands to attend consultation, consulting astrology and other similar sciences for finding their purpose.

Finding your purpose _imageIs it you who should find your purpose?

We have talked how purpose of life could be seen from personal or general perspective. Some have assigned personal purpose from state perspective others from religion and other from mystical and philosophical.

But when it comes to an average person whose resources are limited to a bound point, finding a purpose from all this point is irrational.

Life is indeed to be appreciated. It is good to do good. At the same time, every person should find their purpose in this vast world. Only this was one can become a useful part of the society.

How: finding your purpose.

To find your purpose,  follow three major criteria. As I said before purpose is something you want to live for. For some, it is service, or others is it is creative field. For others, it is entrepreneurial arena.

1-Stick to your DNA.

Gary Venyrchuck in his book talks about DNA. DNA in his understanding is a person’s strength. For some physical is easier than mental. For tall people playing basketball is easier that the average height people. Some are shy and they need to communicate through text. Others are obsessed with self so they like to be the spot light. If you believe your instinct and stick to what your DNA says to you, then you can start with that.

Check Gary’s best selling book on how to cash in on your passion.

2-What you know and what you do.

A practising doctor has thousands of times better chance of living with same job as a purpose than an average person. What you know is what you learnt in school or at home or anywhere else. What you do can be your skills and hobbies. If you’re good at fixing things this could be your purpose.

3-what makes you happy.

What is that one things that you won’t see your watch to stop. What is that one thing that ticks you and takes you all night without being tired. If you have one you are lucky, you should stick to that, even as part timer.

Finding your purpose what to do next.

Finding your purpose this way needs to list the things that you have unique things under the points discussed above. After that you need to reorganise these in to their relations. For example, you might be good at sewing cloths. But if you curse your fate while doing that, then that might not be you. Move on. In everything you do, happiness should be the centre.

See the book on amazon

Three tips for finding your purpose faster

When one becomes mature, its obsession with death begins. A man/woman is known with their fair attitude in life that is life is not fair and that is OK. And I shall do something about it. That is, it. Whatever you want to do, if you don’t do it as fast, you are not that useful. So, don’t overthink do it.

If you agree with this here are three pointers that are useful for finding your purpose.

1-Don’t over think.

Your life is not better than others until you become useful. A useful person has many lives as they live for others, above themselves. Overthinking is a way of the mind to escape reality. Doing is better than thinking. Testing in doing should be the method. If you find one big vision in life test if for some months and find out. if you don’t like it move on to the next. That is why we said finding purpose is a life time job.

2-Have a time off. Mind wobbles.

Thoughts are not reliable. They are managed according to the environment you are in. When you are happy with what you do, you want to do it for life until you are not happy with it once again. Instead of relying on your wobbling mind in the chaos world, find a peaceful time, away from the work and life. Take a week or 3 weeks’ time off and think deep on what you want.

3-write it.

As I said the mind wobbles. Finding your purpose is big. You should see it in fractions. You should divide it in to days and hour. What you have thought every hour could be useful. Start writing, if you don’t until now. You don’t know what you are missing. Read it once a week and reflect on it.

4-Ask others of what you are good on.

We human are good in criticizing others but not ourselves. We tend to run away from self-examinations. People tell you when you do bad but they don’t tell you what good you have. That is part of the critical culture. To know that you have then you shall ask.

Finding your purpose in life begins with finding what you are good an , what you can do and what makes you happy.

For more read Gary’s book.