Change your habit change your life _ grand self

Change your habit change your life

Confession of the man

And I have bad habits. As a book worm, I usually keep asking and questioning, interrogating myself against the moral and theoretical stands of the books I read. I keep asking what am I doing, what should I do to improve it. I am a worrier in the essence of the term itself. Yes, I am grand worrier. I worry till the dawn gets lit and the day get dark.  I worry for the challenges I have and for the possible challenges that could happen. And I worry for things I don’t know and for things I can’t explain. I worry.

I am also critical. My detailing mind does not politely ignore the tiny drop of black mark at the edge of the white shirt or it won’t disregard the misalignment of a single thread in colleague’s coat. I criticize how big Suzan’s glass is in relation to her small eyes and I secretly criticise the small pointed nose or criticize the possible ambitions of the girl that starts conversations with me in the office for no reason.  That is not it. I am much harsher on myself. I self-criticize hundreds of times than I could criticize others. Whatever I do passes through my criticism.

I am perfectionist. I am not perfect, don’t get me wrong. But I need everything to be perfect or at least pretend to be one with much care not to be exposed. Spelling errors irritate me.  I even wouldn’t read your article if I find mistakes. (I now make intentional mistakes to silence my brain)

(change your habit change your life)

Change your habit change your life _ grand self

What do you have to confess?

Life is homework. It has to be lived, but fighting the demons that push you down and try to bury you. In life, it is only you who can identify your weakness, confess them and combat them to you become otherwise.

Here I will show you 5 steps I learnt on how to change your life by changing you habits.

1-First, you have to understand what habits are. ( change your habit change your life )

Habits are characters that you do them without realizing that you are doing them. They are you and you are your habit. Without conscious realization of them you can’t even identify what your habits are. For example, you might know someone who cleans his/her nose hundreds of times on family dinner. There is a woman you know who talks every time and she does not know she talks too much. There is someone who criticise himself as useless and believed it and living with it. You notice it but they usually can’t.

So where do you get a report on your bad and good habits.

2-Well, first, ask someone you know. ( change your habit change your life )

Ask them, what do they like about you; what do they hate about you; what annoys them about you?  Don’t confront them even don’t be serious when you ask. And don’t be offended when they tell you the truth. Believe me you will be. But it is for your own good.

3-Ask yourself. Mind map your activity. ( change your habit change your life )

What makes you tick. What makes you fear. When didn’t you perform as you were supposed to. How long do you spend without work? What did you do last time that you were ashamed of but you helped your mind forget. What is it that you promise not to do again for the last 7 years. Just write them down as fast as you can.

Third, find these natural weaknesses from ‘personality type’ type questions. Many people don’t believe in personality types and astrology. It doesn’t matter whether you do or not here. But if you can’t answer this question using the first two question, then refer to these documents to see if their explanations fit you.

After few hours or days come back, revise your notes and categorize them by removing clutters and repetitions.

4- For the next one week or more keep watching out for them and notice when they happen. ( change your habit change your life )

Write them down on the moment; quoting your emotion and your surprise. For example, you could be pathological liar. You caught your self-lying about the price of your dress. This is nothing. This is simple. But this is the bad habit you have, and don’t give it excuse. We call them bad habits not because that are bad but they are bad your purpose.

5-Next time when you find yourself on same position, consciously choose not to practice them. Here the ‘’5 second rule’’ could help you consciously avoid these situations. (#4) ( change your habit change your life )

If you have caught your self-watching that nude magazine that you hide under your bed, like John, a young man I met at workplace, then record when you would feel doing that. What is the occasion? Is your wife away? Are your parents not around? Are you bored or probably horny? It is natural. But this habit could hinder your progress in life. It could limit your potential from making your wife happy. It could make you be shy or make you look you hide something all of your life, killing your sexual confidence.

Your wife is out and you are back to your little dirty game. You have two options here: sit there and keep doing what every you did a day before or say no and leave as fast as you can. The second one is much harder to do. But the Mel’s five second rule could help you. You count 5-4-3-2-1 and throw the magazine possibly in to fire. And promise yourself only to be happy with your wife and do that.

If you find your self-cheating in exam once again. Think why you are not studying hard. And next time you find yourself watching the whole season of Kardashian or whatever, stand up and Shut the TV down. Or disconnect the cable and promise not to reconnect until the end of the semester. Write that down. That is a great leap.

6-Read books and watch other’s experience. ( change your habit change your life )

Whom do you like most in life? What do they do in life that you want to be part of or that you want to grow to? Practice their way. Change your place, your location.

If you keep doing that for a while then one day you will find yourself being a better person. You will be an example in life. Your journey could be story to be told. Your life can become a legend.

life goals _ grand self

Life goals: how goals help you achieve your purpose

life goals _ grand self‘’What is the difference between a goal and a vision?’’ The college teacher snapped on the class. ‘’How didn’t you know the difference?’’, he continued exaggerating, with his widely opened eyes and a grim on his face.

‘’What is the difference?’’ We murmured for ourselves, lost in the event.

Here is the difference.

Vision is the dream, the day dream, the ultimate destiny. And it is vast and abstract. Then you need something much more detail than a vision to achieve that vision. You need a goal or set of goals. Goals are down to earth, practical and achievable. For example, to be first in technology is vast. One can ask, what technology, who is the judge, in what competition, in what cost? And more.

Goals are written as ‘’sell 100,000 pieces of the app in one year and even more detailed to months and days.’’ How and who is doing what.

Then life is the same. Whether you think God gave you the purpose or you made it yourself, the term ‘’Purpose of life’’ is vast. Whatever purpose you have it is wide and vast enough that you day dream in it. Achieving what is vast and abstract is then remotely impossible.

For this you need goals with schedules that you can follow up and measure your performance in it.

In this post, I will show you how to set a goal and how to achieve it and measure your progress in it, based on my recent experience.

Look everywhere, life is full of visions and purposes. But without goals these are just images.  A student’s purpose of joining college to graduate, get job. Goals do not fanaticize. A student’s goal could be study two hours a day, finish your homework before 8. This is tangible.

Four months ago, I had a breakthrough in life. I break a bit long relationship with girlfriend. My life was in a mess, at least in my mind. I had a brain fatigue that I was dizzy working in office. My eyes were swollen for months but I could not be decisive enough to see a doctor.

Probably the time before that were one of the most challenging in my life. I have always known I could be the best I could be. I have always dreamt of being on top. Inventing something. Owning something.  My fantasy was all over the place. The first day I noticed that fantasy and their strange challenge, I sat there on my bed and thought and thought. How could life continue in day dream? What am I waiting for?

And after a long authoring my life in short of 10 pages, a new idea was born.

I need goals. I need five major goals that could change my life in six months.

“Make sure you set SMART goals. They should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Timed” – Peter Turla

For the sake of education, here at the six goals

Change my mind through daily affirmations. Affirmations are assured to work. Listening them or saying one for myself in the morning and evening is much better than listening to music. I set schedule to say my affirmations on 6 in the morning and 12 in mid night for 30 minutes.

Go to Gym four times a week

I registered to join the gym next door.  I decided to gain 7-10 kilos more gradually with in five months.

Read the bible twice a day, morning and evening.

I grew up as a Christian. And most of my decisions were made in reflection from the bible. And I felt that reconnecting to that book would make me reconnect with my roots where I was raised with.

Start a site that help other realize their purpose and goals. For this, I started writing each day minimum of 1000 words. I shall write at 8 in the evening for about 30 or more minutes.

This were few of the goals.

I set. Even though each listed above seems to be big to achieve, goals are attached with them. For example, in the last one, I would say I write from 7-8 o’clock, about 1000-1500 words. This is achievable.

Then you need schedule. Goals need schedules. You can’t say I write 1000 words. You have to set aside a time that you will accountable for.

I got to gym after lunch between 2-3. I stay for an hour. I preferred this hour for two reasons, for there are only few other lifters, as the time is work hour and I am free at that time. I also go to the gym on Mondays, Tuesday, Thursdays and Friday.

For this I prepare a table. Or I categorize weekly schedule of set of exercises I follow. I put journals each day on my feelings of the day, my weight and more. The passion, and the urge to know my progress pushes me faster.

One more thing you should have is a finite time. Don’t think goals as something to rush through. Most young have the energy and they set unrealistic goals. Be true to yourself. Life is a progress. Don’t say, I want to get buffed up in a week. Set some time, for example, that is realistic to gain weigh would be 4-6months, even to lose weight would be around that unless you work out for hours and hours each day.
Don’t rush, this is not Hollywood. Set a six-month plan. And make sure the goals should be strong and the make a difference.

Write by the end of the six months, ‘’I lost 30 pounds. For this I got gym for four days a week. I lift 30 dumbbells or I run for 30 minutes. For this, I only buy vegetables (list them) and eat at 8,11,2,4, and 7.’’

‘’I want to get fluent in Japanese language. For this I practice an hour a day. I will talk with Mr. Yogi to teach me once a week. I watch 3 Japanese movies on Friday, Sunday and Tuesdays. ‘’

Finally, remember that purpose is vast. Vison is unachievable. They are designed to be that way. You need goals and schedules to get to your vision. By setting realistic goals according to your visions and by following the up with a schedule, you will achieve your dreams.

change your life

I want to change my life : a short cut to change your life for success

Buffet, one of the richest people, on a speech on ‘Nebraska educational forum’ years before talked about the short cut to change your life and become successful. He started his speech as follows.

‘’Think about a person you would most likely to be in life, may be someone in the contemporaries, may be somebody a little older. Pick up the person you admire the most person you change places with if you could and write down why you admire them. Just put it on piece of paper. And figure out the person you would least like to change places with who turns you off?

Who do you find repulsive? And list of the reasons why that person turns off so much and put those on the other side of paper and look at that list and you will find everything on the left-hand side, which you admire in other people, the qualities they bring to life, cheerfulness, generosity all kinds of things you will find those things you will do yourself it is very simple. You got to apply yourself but the habits you form in doing that early on will carry you through life.

…I want to change my life 

And on the other hand, you will find that the things that make people repulsive (selfishness, obnoxiousness to all these things egotism) are things no one has to have you find those in yourself and you can get rid of them as long as you get rid of them early. So, all I suggest is you write down the list of what you admire, what you find contemplate and decide that the other ones on the admire side are ones you acquire for yourself and if you do that when you are young this will carry through the rest of your life.

This does not work if you do it when you are 50 or 60. By then your habits are too well formed. But if you do it early, behaviour becomes a habit. If you do that two years from now, if you go through same exercise, you will find out the person you will admire the most is yourself. ‘’ Warren Buffet

I want to change my life _grand self

So, who is this person that you admire in life?

This legend that you dreamt to be when you were child or this princess that you imagined yourself to be throughout high school. It is a simple. Here is the process I went through this exercise.

(…exercise. I want to change my life )

Who are the five people you admired when you were a teenager. This includes musicians, business men, celebrities…Just list them randomly on the table below.

Who are the other five people who you still admire or new people whom you added on your list? Well, list them on the table below

List the things you admire about them. This could include how they speak, how they dress, how they behave, how they shave, how they smile…their confidence.

  People I admire Things I like about them Things I hate about them

(I want to change my life )

Most people who do this exercise, write a general, vague statement such as, I love Einstein. He is genius. Or I like Jordan. He shoots and scores points. This is too general, therefore, inapplicable. How can you apply to be a genius to your life? Because genius is vast and rather abstract in its own definition. Instead, look for a particular character that you admire. Instead of saying ‘genius’, say ‘he writes 10 pages of paper every day on related topics to his research’.

Or he walks in garden to get rest, he meditates for 30 minutes each day. He wears neat suit and tie or she wears tiara. It is up to your need and ambition. There is no right answer there. You might like Buffet, for example. But saying ‘’I admire his being rich’’, does not cut the grass. Instead go deep and research and say his ability to invest in small business or even closer look at the experience he had on doing that specific task.

(I want to change my life )

On the other side of the table fill what you hate about people you despise.

This could be rappers, actors and more. Be more specific to the point where you can adopt or copy them. This is the fun step . Here revises the list, may be after hours, and reorganize them into different categories. Example, under how to dress, how to invest, how to live, how to be known.

How to dress How to speak How to become knowledgeable
Dress suit on meetings


Wear high hills that increase body shape and height

Speak slow and steady


Look at the person’s eyes while talking

Touch them on their holder every other second (if you like)

Rent a small flat


Read a book a week

Write your memo

Then summarize number 6 with short sentences that could be memorized and followed.

(I want to change my life )

‘’I want to become a social person who speaks slow and steady, who looks in the eyes and reflect my thoughts while talking with others and I often touch them in admiration and smile a lot to create social intimacy. And I also wear suits in meetings so that I look formal and attractive. For this I have to become independent, buy 2 more suits, read a book a week and write summary each day on what I have learnt and what I should do. ‘’ 

Frankly, change takes months if not years.

Engaging oneself into the process of change and becoming someone, they admire is a hard task. Body can be trained into doing what seems impossible but the mind could resist the change. While exercising, some suggest not to fear muscle cramp. You should pass the boundary that the mind puts as ultimate maximum. Only in that moment the body and mind could work hard to align with each other for better result. Then you should keep going. Inspire yourself. Becoming your grand self is a constant work and grinding.

purpose in life _ grand self

Know your purpose in life, build a brand and market the hell out of it.

purpose in life _ grand self‘’Last week I was in the zone, in the mood. I had these three ideas I wanted to do as a purpose in life. They were not meant to get me money nor they were part of my ideals of what my purpose in life is. But I had them in mind so deep, I wanted to do them. This week I am already bored of one, and I have picked new one. My life is full of picking and dropping ideas. In fact, I have witnessed some people picking up the craps I dropped and turned them into tangible. When shall this madness stop and real contribution of mine takes place?’’

Here I need to share what I have learnt the ways to identify your purpose in life, build a brand around it and make yourself useful out of it.

Keep working on your purpose in life in this cluttered world

Years before, life was similar for almost all. The American dream, and many other dreams that are not defined with two words. The life principle of our parents was to ‘’get schooled, follow rules, get decent job and serve the company until retirement and get pension for the rest of your life.’’ This system was not in fact a bad deal for most. You know they say ‘’in the land of the blind, one eyed man is a king/queen.’’ (excuse my quote.)

They would not have known a better life than the one that paid the mortgage. They had to survive on whatever they were given. For authors like Seth Godin, this life is no more appealing for the ‘computer generation’. Jobs could be created in a snap of finger and gone in same snap of finger. Your purpose in life in the previous world is to stick in and work hard, not stick out and be unique. This kept you safe in the group.

Ridicule and criticism is not for these who sticks in but these that stick out.

They say ‘’stay in the group, walk together and you will be fine.’’ It’s like being in a class and you don’t know the answer. And the teacher points at you while you are contemplating and praying they wouldn’t pick you. You try not to make sudden move, no eye contact, stay similar to others. But you are picked. No matter how much you try to stick in, there is probability that you will be picked as other will be picked.

Today, there are thousands of medias, thousands of newspapers and thousands of books. Mediums are not scarce as were years before. You no more only follow BBC because there are hundreds of BBCs in the world that can give you same level of quality news. The question in this era, as some said, is not ‘’who is speaking, but who is heard.’’

Information overload is the new disease. Lack of knowledge and information limited the life of our parents and information overload limited our lives.

Today, purpose in life is mistakenly judged in three main ways.


everyone in this age is talking about the money. Money money…Don’t get me wrong, money great motivation. But this can’t be your entire purpose in life. I say, this even should not motivate you to live your purpose. In fact, most people that made change in history were poor and they lived a life fulfilled and poured out to us even to this day.

Jesus was poor. Even his disciples have written, they would not love him on first sight as he was weak and not graceful. Buddha left comfort of his house and left in to wilderness to follow his heart and his purpose in life. Marx was so poor he didn’t have money to feed his children at some point. His family members passed away in starvation while many average minds live in comfort at the time. Money is not the purpose, it is something that drives you to your purpose in life, if you need it.


Are the Kardashian living their purpose in life? Who knows. There are many families that are dreaming the Kardashian, their nude bottom, their glittering life, their fake appearance and dysfunctional relations. Millions are hooked on their shows. These figures become an example for the purpose fulfilled, diminishing smart minds and day dreamers.

This life was once, unfulfilled for our ancestors, in fact it was life despised. The recent music in raps, hip-hop and even other genres became a voice of the trash, addition, prostitution, gang, destroying own body, misogyny and more. Yet, we our life with these figures and they are our role model. I have to quote it again, ‘in the land of the blind, one eyed man is…’

(Hope you won’t hate me by this time. I am telling the truth.)

3-  The third superficial measure of fulfilment of life is marketing.

This is a world that everything is exaggerated. Godin talks about the reality of marketing in this age, saying ‘This is a product x, it has this average use; it is used by average people…’ Would you buy it?’’ He asks.  He replies ‘’no, no one would buy it. NO one likes average.’’

Therefore, a simple hair cream is advertised with models with long hair who have never tried the product before; cars are advertised with handsome men without flaws but are poor and living in their mother’s basement; burgers are advertised with big chested and tiny waisted women who never eat burgers. Looks and actions are deceiving and are exaggerated. You would be mistaken if you judge people’s purpose in life based on what you see. You should learn to look beyond the superficial, beyond what they wear, beyond the dialog.

If you understand how to not measure others and yourself in this age, then here is the secret in today’s age to live a fulfilled purposeful life.

1-Wobbling mind

The author of ‘the way of superior man’, writes, the purpose in life is different from the ideas that fly in your mind picking and dropping each day. These are not your purpose in life. The real purpose is what makes you urge more. This is what stick all time. This is you yourself. You can’t find this type of your purpose by reading a book or reading this article. This, you only can find it, sitting with yourself and thinking it through. What was it that you wanted to be when you were a child, or before you lost your identity. What is it the ticks you or what is that one or two things that everyone talks about you. Of course, I am following that humanistic path to purpose in life. But that answering these questions should give you your heart’s urge.

2-Once you find that, stick to it.

Develop it. Do it once a day, at least after work. Or if you have the money quit what you are doing and work on your purpose in life, if you are a writer, write the word of your dreams and products of your mind and share it. Keep doing it until it seems you are obsessed. Don’t listen to what people say, don’t fear the criticism. As Godin says life without criticism is for the ones that stick in and once you stick out and standout be sure criticism is on the way. For him life is like art and you are an artist. You have the option to keep in dark away from criticism or show your work and receive criticism. It’s up to you.

3-Then the next process it to create your brand.

I call it manifestation. Think of how to turn the idea, the abstract into material. For example. Think how your business personality could be manifested in your clothing, in your thinking, in your speech…Then be it. Live it. Wear it. Don’t wear suit, because someone else does. Wear what fits your brand. With this you create your brand, your image. This is what people talks of you.

John the Baptist of the bible, used to live in desert, eating grasshopper and desert honey. And that was what was what was written of him when he went to town to baptize people. Now you can imagine what his hair would look like, what his clothing would look like and what his social life would look like. His looks, designed or not, fit the purpose and no other was in town that looked like him.

4-Next step is to market it.

It seems cheating like the hair cream ads. But you should follow the 80-20 rule here. Work the 20 percent and advertise 80 percent of the time. Believe me the others are advertising themselves every time with the fake books and human hair and bad personality even on TV. They are showing off their extravagance, degrading women, talking trash. And  the ignorant majority admire them. If they did it 100 percent of the time, paying millions, why can’t you do it by marketing your 20 percent achievement by the 80 percent of your time? You should market your work, your life, your deeds.

Now pick your pen and write your thought on your purpose in life as much as you can. Cross out the clutter after a little thought. Look back the list after few days. Repeat the process until you find one or two things that you can manage, and work on it few months and even few years. In the process manifest the idea of your purpose to the world. Create your lifestyle and live it.

Finally, it is not about who is talking but who is being listened to. You don’t need money to advertise yourself but you have your uniqueness. And your uniqueness tells a story itself. And this image is real, earned, and it is a story told from the heart. Only your purpose in life makes you the legend in the life that you are day dreaming of.

the meaning of life _grand self

The meaning of life : 9 alternative meaning of life that you have to know

the meaning of life _grand self“What is the meaning of life? Why am I here? why am bored? What should I do in life?’’ These have been debating issues for long. People asked these questions starting from the beginning. We also ask these questions out of intellectual side, theological side or out of emotional distress and confusion in life.

One could claim life has no purpose as nihilists say. Life is without objective meaning. People like Nietzsche killed God and erased it out of the picture, then life without the creator would be meaningless. Therefore, life is without purpose. Therefore, only goals that inspire one should be the meaning for some one’s life.

Humanists say you should ask what is the meaning of my life, not what is the meaning of life. In either case, we often ask both. Whatever the meaning, we want to do good, get big, get enlightened about the world. Go green, find God, do good, become famous, get fit, get rich…all these are own definitions of getting meaning in life that later become goals of life for most. The following are public claims of meaning of life.

  • The meaning of life to become better.
  • The meaning of life is service.
  • it is experiencing life?
  • It Is being influential the purpose of life
  • The meaning of life is passing down gene…
  • Making others happy…making you loved one’s smile
  • Living life, the way I want?
  • Evolving in to better
  • There is no purpose to life
  • To know himself, know the creator and worship the creator.
  • There is no purpose to life. Only use your time to do what you love.
  • It is what you decide on your own
  • Live as you wish
  • Achieve enlightenment
  • The meaning of life is die satisfied
  • Things have no intrinsic meaning. It’s only the meaning we give to it.
  • Life is process and process does not have a purpose

In this post, I wanted to show you possible purposes of life that you can read and find yours’s from it.

  1. The meaning of life is development

Fox eats rabbit, rabbit eats grass, grass consumes nutrient from soil, soil fertilize on organism…life comes and goes. But one thing is for sure, no matter what happens for each organism in the system, the system itself has to continue to exist. Without further development of each, the system would break and all vanish. Imagine what if every rabbit stops to reproduce? The fox would die of hunger, the grass would cover all the ground and soil dies with overuse and everything dies on the way. Shinto, known Japanese religion, believes (purpose of) life is to live, not to die…  purify itself by rightful self-development.

Someone once said, ‘’the purpose of life is to grow.’’ Think of a kid that won’t grow for years, or won’t speak until 10 or what if your apple tree at back yard won’t give fruit or dried. We say that life is unfulfilled. He continues, the meaning of life could be defined from this perspective as to growth and develop.   

  1. The meaning of life is living with nature

After creating man, God ordered him to cultivate the earth. Immediate life for the first man was living with nature as a protector and nurturer of it. Naturalistic pantheism understands the meaning of life as to look after nature.

Antisthenes, a pupil of Socrates, also stated that the purpose of life is living a life of Virtue which agrees with Nature. Life is not living for the material possessions and even rejects desire for wealth and power. It is living harmoniously with nature that nature of man demands.


  1. The meaning of life is being happy

Epicurus saw what is good as whatever brings greatest happiness. And his meaning of life is as greatest happiness principle. Aristotle also said “Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”

Is the purpose of life really to be happy? For example, the bible completely changed the purpose of life from living happy in the garden of eve to a complete suffering on earth. The new world made due to man’s disobedience was not a place for joy but for hard work and suffering.

In any case, happiness should be the central part of life. Being honorable that might not make you happy for a while could actually be your source of happiness in a long run. Be happy.


  1. The meaning of life is the experience

If life does not equivalent experience, what else would it correspond to? The meaning of life is defined in terms of our experiences. A pragmatic knows that life is experienced empirically. Pragmatic philosophers say one should find practical understanding to life than what is abstract. Therefore, one should find the meaning through experience.

“We are the sum total of our experiences. Those experiences – be they positive or negative – make us the person we are, at any given point in our lives. And, like a flowing river, those same experiences, and those yet to come, continue to influence and reshape the person we are, and the person we become. None of us are the same as we were yesterday, nor will be tomorrow.”

― B.J. Neblett


  1. The meaning of life is we create our own purpose

“We create our own purpose in life. Now go create yours.” -Lex Luthor

Existentialism, also teaches that you create meaning yourself and God does not create one for yourself. They say purpose in life starts as one emerges in to existence. Søren Kierkegaard  reflects that life is making your own meaning in this indifferent world.  And one should live devoting and committing itself to something finite. Therefore, they create your own purpose in life. And you should look in to places that you can find your purpose and commit to it.

  1. The meaning of life is God’s has purpose for you

Negating what we said on prior point, we can say God has a plan when he sent a soul to earth. And no one emerged to make its own purpose but with God’s purpose. Theists think that humans find their purpose with in God’s ultimate purpose for them. And without God’s existence they say life is irrational One can disagree and argue saying that the ultimate purpose of man was in the garden failed since humans leave the garden with sin. The bible notes that this world is a temporary tent, waiting for the real castle to come. And hustling in this tent world that would be destroyed with storm is not the ultimate goal but to live in the world under the principles of the heavens. Then one can fulfill its purpose by agreeing with the principles of the bible. 

Christianity believes, the purpose of man is to seek salivation through grace of God. The Apostle Paul has spoken: “And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their pre-appointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings, so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.” 


  1. The meaning of life is doing greater good of the humanity

We are part of the whole. Creating meaning out of man’s urge to make sense of the world should also include to become useful for the progress of humanity. The disparity between poor and rich, the luxury and so much waste while the majority live off of a garbage can should be a concern for a man. If you want to live a fulfilled life, then you should have a problem that is away from a dress to wear to prom or a bigger house for new year. Living for others and creating to use others is the meaning. The Bahá’í Faith also claims that purpose of life is about service to humanity.

For this man needs duty. Duty is one of the most important pillars of life. Without duty life won’t exist. After God created the first man, he gave him a duty. A duty that could progress the life on earth for good. He said, name these animals. Take care of the earth and more and more unbelievably large out of mind tasks. How would one person could take care of the earth. How can he name millions of animals and entities on earth? But this heavy task is what Adam should accomplish to live on earth. Kant and other philosophers also think of this duty in terms of importance to state. How can you contribute to the greater good of the state, the country or maybe closer to home?


  1. The meaning of life is of no fear

For some life is a natural prison made and kept by the powerful. Fear is the ultimate suffering in this age. These include fear of pain, fear of not getting money, fear of rejection, fear of being evicted out of house. Fear is all around up. Epicurus taught at his time that one should find pleasure and peacefulness and free oneself from fear. And he taught fear could be abolished through knowledge, and limiting worldly desires. These desires could be similar to the ones that most philosophers and religious books speak of: desires of sex and appetites.

For Zeno of Citium, meaning of life is freedom from suffering through logic and having clear judgement.


  1. The meaning of life is love

The Mohist philosophers believed that the purpose of life was universal, impartial love. Mohism promoted a philosophy of impartial caring – a person should care equally for all other individuals, regardless of their actual relationship to him or her. The expression of this indiscriminate caring is what makes man a righteous being in Mohist thought. This advocacy of impartiality was a target of attack by the other Chinese philosophical schools, most notably the Confucians who believed that while love should be unconditional, it should not be indiscriminate. For example, children should hold a greater love for their parents than for random strangers.


What is the meaning of life ? Life could be given a bunch of meanings. The necessary thing is about understanding what you have and live for others with it. At the end of the day what matters most is what we do and it is not the definitions, the meanings. It is out actions. Life after all is accepting what god has made for us, making our path through it, serve others and nature with-it and be happy in it. With love, there is no fear.  Then figure out what you will do, that makes you happy, and do that. And remember to serve others and to love life itself along the way.







stress _ grandself

How to beat worry and stress with the five second rule

stress _ grandself


“What am I doing?” I asked my self siting on a dusty stair in my school years. “What am I doing? Is this life? Is this it? Why am I stressed out?” I was not sure what to do as a mute book worm teenager whose ultimate goal was to please my superiors. My life was a closed book with chapters of stress and pain. Obsessed in the dilemma of the modern education where I suffered to keep my grades high while the rest of the world having fun. Without such sacrifice, the fulfilment of desire was impossible. But no matter what I did or no matter how I got on the top of the class every time, there was a gap between what I got and what ‘I should have got’.

I remember one day my perfectionist father told us to study and get good grades at schools with out him telling us what to do. And we did. I stood first, getting better grades than the rest.  Back home I was delighted , but soon to realise that wasn’t enough. That is nearly improbable. And it made an impact. This means what ever I get , there is more and i don’t have celebrate, i have to work more. (Is that good? I don’t know.)

No matter I am good at something there is more waiting for me… And I found myself sitting on dusty stairs, years after, asking myself what am I doing. Is life…?

What is stress anyways? Why am I always stressed? Stress for me is body’s pressure under the unknown. Like fear, it is a tool that makes us cross the river with great care. It gives us the temporary glitch of mind and body and assist us fight the fight with attention and fiercely.

But what if the stress become part of life? What if it overwhelmed us and makes us prisoners. This is where the problem arises.

I will show you one trick that helped many people get rid of unnecessary and irrelevant stress out of their life. This trick is called the 5 second rule of author Mel Robbins.(she even has a book on it, very powerful) Mel Robbins says “motivation is garbage”. Motivation, especially that you see in YouTube or motivating oneself does not come handy when we need them or when we are trapped in the problem. Emotions like stress and fear are not real, they are illusions created by mind to keep us safe.

For example, a classic man has to fear of the unknown or what is beyond the forest, as his life depends on it. These who don’t fear will let their way in to the forest and lose leg to wild animal or human enemy. However; in this age fearing what is beyond the block is ridiculous. There is better security today and we don’t fear ambushing enemy or wild animal. But the hard-wired fear in our DNA or stress from ancestor’s gene gets us weak in this age. (Don’t get me wrong here a little bit fear is useful A little bit stress is nice. Because that is what helps us graduate on time or get the work done on time.)

Back to the five second rule. Mel says the best way to get rid of stress, fear, procrastination, not getting up on time, not being on time to  meeting you scheduled weeks before is to snap your mid out of the negative.

And she says if you can do that with in five minutes of the time when these thoughts emerge in your mind, then you can beat them to death.

Here is how you can do that.

When you want to get up in the morning and you feel to sleep some more ,don’t think about sleep or don’t stress about your waking up or even don’t motivate yourself out of bed. Just circle your hand from the back part of your head to the front side and count 5-4-3-2-1 and run yourself out of the bed. When stress comes to your mind don’t stress more to get yourself out of the stress. Just count 5-4-3…and affirm yourself or change your location or talk to people.

This technique is not actually new. Years before I learnt about the 3 second rule for starting conversation with a girl you want to talk with. The technique is basically to be unique of the guys out there. Most guys want to talk to a girl in front of them but stress out. They give reasons not to do that. ‘’she is not looking back. she is serious. Who is she with. I will talk to her if she notices me again’’. And almost every time they depart without talking.

The three second rule is different. You should be able to say anything, I used the technique as well to test its effectiveness. ‘Are you next to me?’’ I asked a Turkish girl who sits next to me on a plane. ‘’Are you the one?’’ I asked a black girl who sits next to me on a bus. ‘‘Hi’’, I said smiling with in three seconds and with friendly eye contact that silently begs for acceptance.

Ignoring my point of making myself a pickup magnet(oups), the five seconds rule is so powerful it can help you become independent from fear and stress. The secret is not to overthink in the moment.  Just kill your thinking mind and do the spontaneous.

My life is a stress indeed. But it is up to me to be in a zone that I need to be. I shall do whatever to change my mind and my experience. And I shall snap my thinking mind out of the experience and become a better man.

What is the boundary of self sacrifice?

  1. Self sacrifice

self sacrifice

What is the line between empathy and self sacrifice?

Well, it is contextual. It should be. For a hopeless romantic like Steve who has no boundary for others but who is yet virgin and jobless and his new girlfriend threatens she would leave him if he doesn’t sleep with her as soon or if can’t afford the new dress she wishes, it is a sacrifice. He gives his last 25 dollars away to a homeless looking thief that danced in front of him only to rob him . His empathic self gave him the knife and alter of self sacrifice.

I spent most of my life worrying about what others think of me, pretending and to fulfil the social self to make everyone happy .

My recent emphatic endeavour to create peace for couple with dysfunctional relationship took my time and decency away. I endangered my wellbeing and freedom through the process. 

I finally felt… they all have one thing in common: for everything they receive, they expect more. And they need you until you have something to give.

I know…life is good when lived for self first. Even the book says, “if you have two,give one.” If you only have one, how can you give?

read more on three layers of success that helps you where you are and why you are sacrificing instead of living.